For Those Hurting This Holiday Season

Christmas is nearly upon us, and it truly is a wonderful time. Gathering with those we love. Exchanging gifts. Celebrating Christ’s birth. Looking back on another year of growth and change. There’s a reason we so look forward to it year after year.

But for many, this is a time of mixed emotions. Whether it’s missing a loved who’s passed on, having to face a difficult family situation, struggling to make ends meet, or any number of other things, there are a lot of reasons one might be feeling down this time of year.

And if that’s you, I want you to know you’re not alone.

The truth is that underneath the surface, behind all of the smiling and celebrating, we each have a deep pain that we carry with us. And for some, this particular point on the calendar accentuates that pain in ways others simply cannot imagine.

I’ve seen it in the eyes of those I love after a year of loss—including, for some, this one. I’ve even experienced it myself in years past when my own family traditions had to change. For a lot of people, it gets easier; even though things will never be the same, you find a new normal. For others, the struggle is fresh and new every year, and it’s all they can do just to get through the holidays without a breakdown.

While some of us are concerned about finding the perfect gift, planning a great party, or sending fancy cards to everyone we know, others around us are silently suffering, wanting nothing more than just to survive this time of year and maybe find a speck of hope somewhere in the midst of it all. And this time is theirs, too.

Christmas is a time of joy and celebration, to be sure. But even the very event we celebrate wasn’t so clear cut. Jesus was born not at a big party, but in a farmhouse that his impoverished parents were sleeping in because they couldn’t find anywhere else to stay. Jesus’ birth was accompanied by the celebration of angels, shepherds, and wise men; however, it also came with the fear felt by his refugee family fleeing persecution and the wails of mothers throughout the land who lost their baby boys to Herod’s viciousness.

There’s certainly joy in the story, and lots of it. But there’s suffering there, too.

From its very beginning, this holiday has been about human experience. It celebrates the incarnation of Jesus, God becoming a person to live the way we do. And our lives are rarely all one thing or another. Usually, they’re a mixture of good, bad, and in-between. Jesus experienced that himself, even on the very night of his birth.

Just as there’s no one way to celebrate this season, there’s no one way to feel about it, either. We each have unique experiences and real, legitimate feelings that come along with them. We can’t expect that just because this time is easy and light for us that it will be for someone else, too.

For those of us finding ourselves in a good place this holiday season, let’s go out our way to be cognizant of the experiences of those around us. As we celebrate, let’s remember that this time of year isn’t easy for everyone. Let’s do our best to be understanding and meet people where they are rather than expecting them to do things our way.

And if you’re hurting right now, please know that we care. Some of us may get too caught up in the merriment to remember that we need to make room for your pain, but you have a right to feel the way you feel. You’re not doing Christmas wrong; you’re not a buzzkill. You’re just in pain, and we are here for you.

In a perfect world, the holidays would be nothing less than merry and bright. But in our world, this time of year, wonderful as it may be, often has a somber undertone. As we get together with those we love to celebrate and enjoy all the warmth and cheer we can muster, may we also make room within ourselves and our celebrations for those less cheery feelings, too. Because they’re real, and they have their place—even now.

Merry Christmas, friends. Wishing you and yours all the joy and peace in the world. 🎄 I’ll talk to you again soon!

Practice Makes Perfect

I was a huge choir nerd growing up. From the time I was old enough to enroll to the day I graduated, I spent every school day in the choir room rehearsing for the next big performance. I loved pushing my skills to the next level and making music with my friends. When I look back on my formative years, choir is one of the parts I remember most fondly.

One of my assistant directors had a catch phrase that I’ll never forget. He used to say, “Practice doesn’t make perfect! Perfect practice makes perfect.” And while that was a helpful way to keep us on our toes in choir rehearsal, I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to figure out how to turn imperfect practice into something better.

The truth is that a good deal of life in the real world is failure. Or if not failure, it’s at least only partial success—a check mark with an asterisk next to it. For every thing I get right, I can recall at least a dozen that I goofed up along the way.

Mistakes seem to be the world’s primary method of education.

This week, I’ll celebrate my third anniversary at the church. Three years on the job. And that means I’m entering my fourth holiday season as a full-time pastor.

Between special services, programs, and events, this time of year can become quite hectic. The calendar is chock full, and the requests don’t stop coming. My first few years, I struggled just to keep up. It’s not that I had poor time management or work ethic; I just wasn’t prepared for everything that would be on my plate.

This year, though, I’m going in with a plan. I’m trying to stay ahead of things. Work more efficiently. Avoid the mistakes I made last year that cost me time and mental energy. And the funny thing is that it’s working.

I’m feeling more on top of things this year than in the past, which means I’m more pleasant and have more attention to give to my family as we celebrate the holidays. I don’t feel like I’m drowning or even treading water. Instead, I think I’m handling all of my responsibilities well and contributing to the projects that I’m working on. It’s a really good feeling.

I hope this doesn’t come off as bragging. I’m not telling you all of this to pat myself on the back. In all honesty, it probably shouldn’t have taken me so long to get to this point. But here I am.

The point is that practice can make perfect, but only if we choose to learn from it. Even our mistakes can be beneficial if we don’t plow past them but instead reflect on them and allow them to inform our decisions going forward. The only way to get better at something is to work at it, and that’s going to require us to be comfortable with a certain amount of failure.

What is it you want to improve at? Are you willing to work at it? Even more than that, are you willing to fail, to face that failure, and to learn from it? Because that’s what it takes.

When we say, “Practice makes perfect,” we gloss over the fact that practice stinks. Sure, the end result is nice, but the in-between? Not so much. We don’t like to fail. But learning from our mistakes is the only way we’re going to get better.

I’m really happy that, at least in my work situation, I’m getting to a point where I’ve made enough mistakes to really learn something. That’s not to say I won’t make more; I will. But when I do, I’m going to learn from them, too, and use them as tools for improvement. And in doing so, I’ll continue to grow and get better.

If you’re in the in-between and feel like you’re failing right now, don’t give up hope. That just means you’re on your way to something worthwhile. And once you get there, you’ll be glad you stumbled through.

Practice makes perfect, and perfect is worth the work it takes to get there.

That’s where I’m at right now, friends. I hope you find it useful. I appreciate you for reading, and I’ll see you back here very soon!

I’m Going to Win the Streaming Wars

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve heard by now about Disney’s brand-new streaming service, Disney+. It launched a week ago to much fanfare and a few complaints that its ten million new users were overloading the servers. Technical issues aside, Disney+ has been praised by nerds, parents, ‘90s babies, and TV critics alike for its deep library of nostalgia-inducing classics and fun, new originals, all of it wrapped up in a shiny app that you can watch anywhere, anytime.

The launch shouldn’t have come as a surprise to any of us. Disney’s been working on its new streaming service for a couple of years now and spoken quite openly about their intention to break into the streaming game. And they’re not alone. In fact, Disney is just one of the many companies that’s taken an interest in streaming TV as of late.

What started as a novel idea from a company that made most of its money renting DVDs through the mail has now become an entire industry, and everyone wants a piece of the pie. We are entering a period in which every company you’ve ever heard of is going to have their own streaming service, each vying for your attention and your money with a combination of flash, nostalgia, and savvy business practices.

Friends, welcome to the streaming wars.

The Sitch

We all know what streaming is. It’s a way to watch TV shows and movies over the internet, usually as part of a subscription. Some cable packages include streaming features these days, and there have even been a few attempts at replicating the classic live TV experience online. But at its core, streaming always has been and always will be an alternative to traditional cable in both its medium and its economics. That’s what makes it so appealing to cord-cutters like me.

Streaming solves many common problems faced by cable subscribers. It’s generally cheaper than traditional TV, mostly due to the fact that streaming services aren’t bundled together unnecessarily and don’t come with extended contracts. Streaming works with the hardware and internet connection you already have at home; no need to rent a new box and pay for a technician to install it. Plus, and best of all, you can watch what you want when you want, often ad-free. That’s the magic of streaming!

Personally, I’ve never paid for cable. Between Netflix and Hulu (plus the occasional use of my dad’s DirecTV login in absolute emergencies), I’m able to watch all of my shows at my convenience for a fraction of the price I’d be paying for cable. This method has been working perfectly for me for a long time.

It works for a lot of other people, too. In fact, as cable continues to lose subscribers year after year, the streaming world is booming. More and more TV lovers are figuring out that they don’t need to rely on their cable companies anymore. Just like it did for communication, the internet is streamlining TV and taking it to levels never before imagined.

And this is only the beginning.

It’s taken some time, but media companies are finally figuring out that streaming is the future. So instead of hiding their content behind the cable paywall or licensing it out to the same few companies that already have streaming figured out, they’re branching out, investing resources, and trying their own hands at the streaming game.

Just to get you up to speed, here’s quick breakdown of the most mainstream streaming services that are either out now or coming very soon:

• Netflix: The company that started it all is still in the game. They may not be the one-stop shop that they used to be, but Netflix still has an incredible back catalog of licensed content as well as a constant stream of high-quality original shows. They’ve got something for everyone, and their recent deals with creators like Shonda Rhimes, Ryan Murphy, Game of Thrones creators David Benioff and DB Weiss, and Nickelodeon ensure that they’ll have compelling new content for years to come. And they’ll always have Breaking Bad, the show that literally invented binge watching.

• Hulu: What started off as a joint effort by the major TV networks to curb the shift to streaming has transformed into something totally new. While Hulu also offers original programming, their main selling point is next-day availability for currently-running TV seasons. If you‘re ditching cable but don’t want to fall behind on your favorite network shows, Hulu has you covered. And if you like prestige TV, Disney recently announced that Hulu will soon become the streaming home of all their FX content. Anyone care to binge American Horror Story?

• Amazon Prime TV: If you’re an Amazon Prime subscriber, one of the perks the company has added over the years is a growing library of streaming TV content. Prime features a few notable originals and a broad swath of licensed content, as well as the opportunity to subscribe to specialized add-ons if the core service doesn’t fulfill all your needs. No one’s joining Prime just for the TV shows, but if you’re already a subscriber, it’s certainly an added plus.

• CBS All Access: CBS was the first broadcast network to make the jump into streaming, and it’s been a rousing success. Not only does the service feature all of the network’s current shows and their previous seasons, it also includes some digital-only offerings like Star Trek: Discovery and a new take on The Twilight Zone from Jordan Peele. All Access is proof positive that a streaming service can be done right by a broadcast company; let’s hope the others handle the transition just as well.

• Apple TV+: The maker of my favorite technology is now the proud owner of its own streaming service. Apple TV+ doesn’t have any back catalog at all; it’s all original shows. But that smaller offering also comes with a smaller price tag. At only $5/month Apple TV+ is the cheapest streaming service available, and it’s free for a year if you buy a new Apple product. You can’t argue with free, right?

• Disney+: Disney has bought so many other companies in the past few years that it’s hard to keep up. And now, they’re bringing them all together in one family-oriented streaming service that includes movies and shows from Disney, Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars, and National Geographic. And if that wasn’t enough, every season of The Simpsons is available to stream, too. The opening of the Disney vault has created the gold standard for content offerings, leading me to believe that Disney+ is the new streaming king to beat.

• HBO Max: HBO was one of the early adopters of the streaming model as well, offering their shows and movie library without a cable subscription through their HBO Now service. Next year, parent company AT&T is rebooting HBO Now and combining their prestige shows with content from sister companies like Warner Bros, DC Comics, Cartoon Network, and TNT. Plus, HBO Max is going to be the streaming home for Big Bang Theory, Friends, and Sesame Street. With this service, the company is hoping to broaden its appeal and make HBO a household name.

• Peacock: NBC has put out some of the best comedy shows on TV, period. And next year, they’re leveraging those classics to form a new streaming service called Peacock. Like CBS All Access, Peacock will the streaming home for everything NBC, and that includes favorites like The Office and Parks and Recreation. Oh, and they’ve got DreamWorks onboard to create new animated movies for the service. It’s going to be fun.

• Niche services: One of the benefits of streaming over traditional cable is that there’s room for more specific interests, too. If you’re into DC Comics, there’s a whole streaming service just for you called DC Universe. Do you like anime? Check out Crunchyroll. More into horror? Try Shudder. There are all kinds of these unique streaming services just for super fans. The depth and diversity of the streaming word is just astounding.

• New mediums: And there are creators in the streaming world who are thinking outside the box, too. Next year, a new mobile-only streaming service called Quibi will offer quick bites (Get it?) of entertainment to streamers who don’t have time to sit down and watch a full TV episode. I might subscribe just to see Chrissy Tiegen’s take on a courtroom show, Chrissy’s Court. But even if Quibi isn’t for you, it’s exciting to know that streaming has opened up a whole world of entertainment possibilities that simply wasn’t possible before. Who knows what we’ll see next?

Why I’m Excited

If this seems like a lot, that’s because it is. The streaming wars have brought about a plethora of different services, and while it may seem confusing at first, this diversity is actually a good thing. It gives consumers the ability to pick and choose which of these services works best for them. No one gets locked in.

Excited for the new Marvel show? Sign up for Disney+.

Want to see something funny? Peacock has exactly what you’re looking for.

Wondering what Picard has been up to since the last time you watched Star Trek as a kid? He’s got a whole show over on CBS All Access.

You can enjoy any of these services anytime you want with no ads. It’s your shows your way, and I think that’s amazing.

And even better than that, you can hop from one service to another anytime you like. Maybe you subscribe to Netflix when the new season of Stranger Things comes out, but once you’re finished with it, you decide to take your money over to HBO Max and binge some old episodes of Friends. You can do that!

You have the ability to watch what you want when you want. You can build your streaming choices around your budget rather than being at the mercy of some all-powerful cable company. You can watch your favorite shows in the highest quality without interruption on your schedule. Welcome to the future of TV.

As these companies gear up to battle it out in the streaming wars, I think there’s already a clear winner: It’s us. Consumers have the power. These companies are fighting each other for our time and our money, which only leads to better content, pricing, and features for us. And we get to reward the services that meet our needs and desires with our precious subscriptions.

Some may see the streaming landscape as a chaotic, confusing battleground, and in some ways, it is. But for those of us smart enough to do the research and figure out how to navigate it, it’s a gold mine of entertainment and comfort. While the streaming companies battle it out, we get to just sit back and watch.

A Few Caveats

That’s not to say that everything is perfect. Many are skeptical of the idea that streaming is going to create a TV utopia, and I can sympathize. Though part of that hesitation can be attributed to a simple resistance to change, there are a few kinks in the streaming TV machine.

Holdouts

Not every media company wants to get onboard with this new form of TV. Most traditional TV creators have lined up with some sort of streaming service, but a few are still holding out.

Katherine and I enjoy watching The Walking Dead on AMC, as do millions of other people every week. It’s a cultural phenomenon. I’ve tried every avenue possible, and there is simply no legal way to stream the show without a cable subscription. AMC doesn’t work that way, I guess. While I predict that they won’t be able to ignore streaming forever, that doesn’t make it any easier on fans of the show now.

Those who want to watch shows from holdouts like AMC are forced to turn to other options. As I mentioned above, I’m fortunate enough to have access to a family member’s cable subscription when the need arises. I use my dad’s login to watch on the AMC app. But others may not have that same luxury.

Other options do exist. Possibly the best for true cable-cutters is iTunes or another digital media store. There, you can pre-pay for a season of a TV show for a somewhat reasonable price and stream the latest episode the day after it airs, much like a streaming service. Or you can always wait for the season to end and binge it once it hits a service like Netflix or Hulu. Most shows make their previous seasons available somewhere a few months after they wrap.

It’s certainly not ideal. I believe that the holdouts will eventually give in and join us here in the 21st century. Until then, streamers are forced to deal with unwieldy workarounds for the few shows that haven’t caught up.

Next-Day Viewing

Another drawback of streaming is that most shows aren’t available until after they’ve aired live, sometimes not even until the next day. This makes it harder for streamers to avoid spoilers and remain a part of the conversation surrounding their favorite shows. Whereas cable TV created space for live tweeting episodes and, “Did you watch The Bachelor last night?” conversations at work, streaming is more individualistic by nature.

I’ll admit, I’ve had a few major plot points from my favorite shows spoiled for me before I got around to watching them, and that made me sad. And I have to be a lot more careful about making sure my friends are caught up on shows before I’m able to discuss the latest episode with them. But the convenience of watching TV when I have free time rather than scheduling around the networks’ programming is worth the trade off to me.

I hope that in time, streaming will come up with a solution to this problem. As more and more people move to this new method, creators will become more sensitive to this new method of watching TV. Maybe new episodes could release online concurrently with their live broadcasts. Or maybe the concept of a live premiere will disappear altogether, as it has with shows available exclusively online.

I don’t know exactly how it will work out, but I’m confident that this issue, too, is simply a growing pain for this new medium. It will solve itself eventually. Until then, I’m muting all tweets about The Masked Singer until I’m caught up.

Death of the Monoculture

Pop culture unites us. It gives us a shared language and shared experiences that we can use to relate to one another. It might seem trivial, but watching the same TV shows gives people, even complete strangers, at least a sliver of common ground. And with the proliferation of streaming, that shared culture is fading away.

Back when there were only a few channels, most everyone watched the same things. Even if a show wasn’t your cup of tea, you’d watch it because it was on, and you could talk with other people about it. But now that there are so many options, you don’t have to watch anything other than your very favorite shows (and maybe your family members’ favorite shows, too). Since everyone’s favorite shows differ, that little bit of common ground disappears.

One could argue that this has been happening already as more and more TV networks have rolled out. Even the most basic cable packages have dozens of channels now. You can’t possibly watch them all. But streaming will certainly speed up this process as everyone finds their own entertainment niche that works best for them.

Is this necessarily a bad thing? I don’t think so. Great content will always transcend into the zeitgeist. (Stranger Things,anyone?) If the tradeoff is between watching what I like and watching what everyone else likes just to be a part of the conversation, I’m going to choose what I like every time. If I want to talk about it with other people, I’ll just have to start by convincing them to watch my favorite stuff, too.

Sports

I’m not a big sports fan, but I did get a free subscription to ESPN+ with my Disney+ and Hulu subscriptions. Deciding to give it a try, I downloaded the app and tapped on the tab to see what was available to watch. It was downright sad how little content was available on such a monumental network’s streaming service.

I only care about two sports teams: the Baylor Bears and the Arkansas Razorbacks. The Bears had a huge game this weekend, but I couldn’t watch it on ESPN+. Why? Because the streaming rights to the game belong to ABC. When I went to the ABC app to watch the game, I discovered the only way I’d be able to stream it was—you guessed it—with a cable subscription. Disappointing.

Being a sports fan in the world of streaming isn’t easy. The licensing deals in the sports world are as complicated as can be, and in many ways, the industry is behind when it comes to streaming technology. There are solutions out there for sports fans, but my suggestion for now is probably to stick with cable if watching your team’s latest game is really important to you.

Pricing

Right now, the monthly subscription price for each of these services is somewhere between $5 and $15. That is an amazing deal for the amount of content that you’re getting, and if you subscribe to a few of your favorites, you can get all the TV you need for way less than the cost of cable.

However, some experts predict that the pricing for these streaming services will rise over time. We’ve already seen it happen as Netflix has gone from $7/month to $13 over the past few years. A pessimistic prediction might be that these services draw us in with their low prices and wonderful content only to pull a bait-and-switch by jacking up the price and leaving us to choose between paying more and losing our favorite shows.

I would argue that this outcome is not an inevitability. If run well, these streaming services can make a profit over time and create a win-win situation for creators and consumers alike. Hulu, which has been in the game almost as long as Netflix, actually decreased their pricing this year for their basic, ad-supported plan. It all comes down to how these companies are run and if they’re able to draw in enough customers.

After all, the streaming wars are really about much more than just TV. You may have noticed a pattern with all of these services: Most are owned by big companies that do more than just make content. Ultimately, these services are meant to serve not only as money-makers but also as entry points into much bigger worlds.

AT&T wants you to subscribe to HBO Max, but they also want you to choose them as your wireless carrier, so maybe they’ll offer the TV part for free to their wireless customers. Disney is glad to offer you Disney+, but they’d also like to sell you a vacation to a theme park. How about you come to Disney Land and let the company foot the bill for your binge watching? Comcast (which owns Peacock) sells internet. Amazon sells paper towels and everything else under the sun. Apple sells iPhones.

These companies see streaming as a means to engage with customers on other levels. Smart consumers can pick and choose whether they want to take advantage of those extra offers, but in the meantime, we get some incredible TV services no matter what we choose. And as long as the streaming TV services benefit their parent companies financially, they’ll keep doing what they’re doing.

Streaming is a win for consumers, and it’s a win for the companies running the services. I’m confident that this model is going to last because it benefits us all.

A Winning Strategy

So now that you understand what’s going on with all of this streaming stuff, it’s time to decide how you’re going to make this phenomenon work for you. What is going to be your strategy for coming out on top of the streaming wars?

It’s best to start by laying out your priorities. Do you want to be up-to-date on shows airing right now? Are you more focused on watching the highest-quality, prestige content available? Or do you need something that you can watch with your kids without worrying about whether or not it’s appropriate?

What you’re looking for will determine which of these services works best for you. And you don’t have to pick just one. Maybe you subscribe to Disney+ for watching with your kids, but when they go to bed, you flip on HBO Max for something a little more intriguing. You can mix and match, swap them out, and try new services at anytime. It’s all up to you!

Your budget will be another consideration. If you’re switching away from cable, then you could probably subscribe to every service I’ve listed and still save money. But if you’re looking to be economical, then you’re going to want to find the services that give you the most value for your money. Some will have more shows for you than others. You can always use a universal search tool like JustWatch or the Apple TV app on your phone to find out which services offer your favorite shows as part of their subscription.

And you’re going to want to look for deals. As I said above, these companies really want to hook us in with these streaming services, so they’re offering some promotions that you can really benefit from.

Your cell service provider almost certainly offers a free subscription to one of these streaming services. AT&T will give you HBO Now, Verizon is offering Disney+, and T-Mobile comes with a free Netflix subscription. You’re already paying for your phone service, so why not take advantage of this freebie, too?

If you’ve purchased an Apple product in the last couple of months or buy one in the future, you quality for a free year of Apple TV+. Amazon Prime TV comes free if you’re already a Prime subscriber. Roku streaming devices come with a few free months of Hulu. These deals are endless.

Then there are the bundles. Disney owns Disney+, Hulu, and ESPN+, so if you subscribe to two of them, you get the third for free. Students can subscribe to a Hulu, Showtime, and Spotify bundle for just $5/month. Apple is rumored to be working a bundle that combines their TV, music, news, cloud storage, and other subscriptions, possibly to be released next year. And this is just the start.

Winning the streaming wars requires us to be smart, vigilant, and resourceful. But if we choose to put the work in, we can come out of it with an entertainment solution that‘s perfectly suited to meet each of our needs.

In case you’re wondering about my current streaming strategy, here it is:

• I subscribe to Netflix and Disney’s bundle, which includes Disney+, ad-free Hulu, and ESPN+. I get HBO Go (soon to be HBO Max) for free with my AT&T subscription. Because I upgraded my iPhone in September, I’ve also got a free year of Apple TV+.

• Netflix is for binging their original shows (Bojack Horseman, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Black Mirror, Stranger Things for Katherine) and some older shows like Breaking Bad.

• I use Hulu to keep up with currently-running shows like The Masked Singer and This Is Us. I was also obsessed with their original series The Act when it ran earlier this year.

• Disney+ has so much amazing stuff that I haven’t even begun to work through it all, but I’m enjoying The Mandalorian a lot, and I watch Pixar shorts when I have just a few minutes to spare. I’m so ready for their Marvel shows to release next year!

• ESPN+ is free with the Disney bundle, and I haven’t used it for much of anything yet. I hope that they’ll expand their coverage to consistently include the teams I care about over time.

• The only HBO show I watch is Silicon Valley, but once they add Big Bang Theory to HBO Max, I’ll definitely be taking advantage of that.

• Apple TV+ is the service I’ve spent the least time with. I’ve read great reviews of the shows, though, and hope to dive into a few of them before my trial runs out so that I can decide if it’s worth keeping.

• I watch most of my shows on my Apple TV at home. Other than Netflix, every streaming service integrates with the TV app, so I use it as my queue and my home base for keeping up with every show. When I’m on the go, I use the TV app on my iPad.

I’ve never been happier with my TV setup than I am right now, and it’s only going to get better from here. In case you can’t tell, I’m a big fan of streaming and very optimistic about what’s ahead.

But I’m curious what you think. Are you all in on streaming? Or are you still waiting to see how it all plays out? What questions do you have about these services and how they work? I would love to hear your thoughts and answer any questions you have.

Thank you for reading my deep dive on the streaming wars. I hope you learned something that will help you navigate this new world at the intersection of entertainment and technology. If you have any feedback, feel free to reach out. I’ll see you next week!

Headphones

You never really know what you’re going to get here on the blog. One week, it might be a deep reflection on the mysteries of life; the next, it could be a story about some dorky gadget that I bought. (In case you haven’t guessed by now, this week’s article falls into the later category.) But to be honest, both are on brand for me because both are important parts of who I am. So this week, I’m here to tell you the story of the headphone roller coaster I’ve been on over the past couple of weeks and what it taught me. I hope you like it.

A quick glance over my credit card statement reveals that in the past fourteen days, I have purchased three separate sets of headphones and returned two of them. Actually I’ve bought four if you count the pair we bought for Katherine; she was immediately happy with her purchase and didn’t give it a second thought. I, on the other hand, have been agonizing over which headphones to buy and which to keep for far too long.

I guess you could say fretting over headphone purchases is a hobby of mine. When I bought my first pair of Beats Solo cans back in college, I sold them to my brother after wearing them once because I thought they made me look pretentious. When AirPods first came out a few years ago, I bought two pairs, one from Apple and the other from Best Buy, just to see who could get them to me first. I had to have them, and I had to have them right then.

I’ve tried just about every kind of headphone out there: ear buds, ear hooks, on-ears, over-ears, in-ears, wired, Bluetooth, Lightning. You name it, I’ve probably looked into it. It’s not that I’m even much of an audiophile. I’m just really interested in the technology and the design that go into making a good set of headphones.

And so when I heard a few weeks ago that Beats was preparing to release the newest version of their Solo headphones, I was intrigued. Since Apple owns them now, the Beats Solo Pro offer the same near-magical wireless connectivity as AirPods. But because they’re Beats, they also have the incredible sound and build quality that people have come to expect from the brand. To me, they represented the best of both worlds.

Beats had already impressed me with the Powerbeats Pro I picked up over the summer. Basically a sportier version of AirPods, the Powerbeats come in different colors and feature buttons to control your playback without having to pick up your phone. I had come to really enjoy the sound and especially the look of the Powerbeats, and so I was open to giving these new Beats a try.

At the same time I was eyeing the Beats Solo Pro, Katherine was in need of some new AirPods. The batteries on the first-gen pair I handed down to her were worn to the point that she could barely get through a single TV episode with them. Fortunately, they lasted just long enough that we were able to wait for the long-rumored AirPods Pro, which we ordered for her alongside my new Beats (in black, of course).

My new headphones and Katherine’s had a lot in common. Both featured the same W1 chip for connecting wirelessly to our phones and switching between our various Apple devices. Both included Apple’s new active noise-cancelling technology to help us focus on what we were listening to. And their price tags were in the same ballpark, though mine did admittedly cost a little more.

Basically, they were the same headphones in different form factors. Audio quality differed somewhat because the Beats could pack more punch into their bigger size. But as far as the features we cared about, we were getting the same thing, and we were both very excited to try them out.

When I say I loved the Beats Solo Pro, I mean I loved them. From the moment I pulled those headphones out of the box, I was hooked. They connected to my phone immediately, and when I put them on, the world around me disappeared. The noise cancellation was that good. And the sound—it was incredible. Much better than what I was used to with ear buds. I loved it.

But my favorite feature by far was the design. The way they looked was exactly what I was looking for in a pair of headphones. They were built well, not an inch of cheap, glossy plastic in sight. The color was a muted, matte black. And I loved the way I looked in them, which is not something I can say about much anything else.

When I put them on, I felt cool. I felt like I looked the way I want to. I felt like I was truly expressing myself.

Then came the headaches. No, not the figurative kind. Literal headaches.

At first, I thought it was just me, but over time, I came to admit that these headphones, as wonderful as they were, had one fatal flaw: They hurt. In order to block out noise, the Beats had to create a seal on my ear. And in order to do that, they had to press in on my head… hard.

Denial set in immediately. I’d read several reviewers who mentioned that they couldn’t wear these headphones because they caused discomfort, but I thought, “I’ve never had trouble with headphones before. I’ll be fine.” I tried to convince myself that they would “break in” and be a perfect fit if I just kept wearing them. No matter how hard I tried to stretch them out or find the right way to wear them, though, I always had a headache by the time I took them off.

When denial didn’t work, I tried downplaying and compromising. Would it really be so bad to experience a little bit of pain for something so awesome? Maybe I could limit the amount of time I use them and that would help. Or I could just learn to live with a headache.

The lengths to which I was willing to go to make these headphones work might seem over the top, but that’s how much I liked them. I really felt like these Beats were made just for me, and I did not want to give them up.

Of course, a little bit of time and a few chats with my wife led me to the conclusion that this wasn’t going to work. I couldn’t live in constant pain just to look cool, no matter how cool I looked. (Have I mentioned that I looked cool?) I agonized over the decision for several days, changing my mind many times, before finally admitting that my precious Beats Solo Pro couldn’t stay.

And so with great sadness, after spending only a short week with the coolest headphones ever, I packed them up and shipped them back to where they came from. I know it’s silly, but it was an emotional decision for me to make. I had found something that really connected with me, and giving that up wasn’t easy. But I knew it was for the best.

The only logical replacements were the AirPods Pro. I wasn’t particularly thrilled with the design or lack of color choices they offered, but I tried Katherine’s pair on, and they sounded great. The noise cancellation was actually just as good as the headphones I’d just sent back. I would have gone back to the Powerbeats, which are still really cool-looking, but once you’ve experienced noise cancellation, you realize that the world is just too noisy to go without it.

The problem was that I had already missed the initial rush to order AirPods Pro. The Apple Store was sold out and wouldn’t have more for a few weeks. Fortunately, Best Buy came through for me (just as they did with the original AirPods). They promised to have a fresh pair sent to me within a few days. So I ordered them, and then I waited.

You might be thinking, “Didn’t you say earlier that you ordered three pairs of headphones this week?” And you would be correct. In a move that only truly nerdy, impatient weirdos will understand, I ended up finding a pair of AirPods Pro for sale in town while I was waiting on my shipment to come in. I bought those instead and returned the pair that Best Buy sent me as soon as they arrived. I can’t say that I’m proud of this part of the story, but it got me my headphones earlier, so… 🤷🏽

A couple of weeks and lots of money-swapping later, I really do like my AirPods Pro. They don’t look as cool as the Beats Solo Pro, but they work just as well, and they are much more portable. They aren’t the perfect headphones, but they are certainly the right ones for me right now. I’m satisfied with them.

Just don’t be surprised if you read another post like this when they update the Powerbeats or revise the clamping pressure on the Beats Solo Pro. What can I say? I have a problem.

I try to learn from everything I experience in life, no matter how seemingly silly or petty. As you can probably tell, I’ve put a lot of mental and emotional energy into this headphone decision, and it’s led me to reflect on a few things.

First of all, it’s a reminder of how attached I can get to things. I’m not normally one to latch onto a physical possession like that, but something about those headphones just spoke to me. It’s a quirk, I know, but it’s a part of me, and this was a nice chance to recognize it.

Secondly, I had to learn to accept that, no matter how hard I tried, things weren’t going to go the way I wanted them to. It happens to all of us to varying degrees, but I’m not used to running into a brick wall. I like finding solutions and making things work. In this case, that wasn’t an option, and the only thing I could do was accept that.

And finally, this experience has helped me remember that just because things don’t go according to plan, that doesn’t mean they won’t end up where they’re supposed to be. I’m not infallible, my preferences aren’t the standard for what’s right, and not getting my way isn’t the end of the world. Everything is just fine—different from what I imagined, but fine.

TL;DR: I bought the most amazing headphones ever, and they didn’t fit me. I got all up in my feelings about it. Eventually, I exchanged them for a pair that work better for me, and despite all of my worrying, it turned out the way it was meant to all along.

If you actually read this, thank you. If you skimmed it and jumped to the end, I can’t blame you. I know this is different from what I usually write, but it’s what’s been weighing on my mind, and I thought someone might get something out of it. If you did, I’d love to know!

I promise I’ll stop talking about headphones now. On here, at least. No promises if you follow me on Twitter or we run into each other in person. It’s just such an interesting little nook of the technology world right now, and I love talking about it.

As always, thank you for reading. Next week we’ll talk about something less nerdy. I’ll see you then!

Not Knowing

A couple of weeks ago, I had to take the Dolphin (my beloved car) in to be serviced. The engine was running extra-hot, and when I popped the hood, I noticed that the car was completely out of coolant. There was a leak that I couldn’t identify. And so, I entrusted my keys and my Sonata to a stranger at a local auto shop.

The stress kicked in immediately. I was on edge. It took me a bit of time to realize what the source of my anxiety was, but soon, it became clear that I was worried about my car, and it was having a significant effect on me.

From a strictly objective standpoint, I had nothing to fret over. My wife and I own two cars, and we carpool to work, so we rarely need a second vehicle anyway. The Dolphin is over ten years old, and with over 200,000 miles, it’s definitely given my money’s worth. And it’s not like the thing blew up; it just had a leak. What was the big deal?

It’s easy to think that way in hindsight, but at the time and from my point of view, the situation was much more dire. This car that I had owned for as long as I could drive and that had gotten me everywhere I’d ever needed to go had suddenly stopped working. I couldn’t do anything to fix it, and there was no promise that it would be fixed at all. What if this was the end?

The reality of owning a car in the shape mine’s in is that it’s always one bad problem away from becoming scrap metal. I’m not about to drop half the Sonata’s value into fixing it in hopes that it’ll keep running for a few more years. Katherine and I already have a deal that when the car starts going downhill, we’re not going to spend tons of money fighting it. We’re going to let it drift off peacefully and move on.

Again, this is much easier said out of context. When bidding goodbye to the Dolphin felt like a real possibility, the thought of it was enough to bring me to tears.

The real cause of my stress was not knowing what was going to happen. Was it a simple, inexpensive fix? Would we have to dip into savings? Would I ever see my car again? Or was this the end of the road for the trusty Dolphin? I had no idea how the situation was going to turn out, and that not knowing really got to me.

Human beings have very little tolerance for ambiguity, mystery, and uncertainty. We want to know, we want to know everything, and we want to know it right now. And if someone won’t tell us what we want to hear, we’ll just make it up. That’s how we are. We like to be in the know.

Not knowing something is a recognition of one’s limitations. It puts us in a vulnerable state. And it prevents us from being able to feel in control of what’s happening around us. We don’t like that. Being a control freak, I especially don’t like that.

And so we do everything we can to avoid situations where we don’t know what’s going on. We look up every single question that pops into our minds on Google. We ruminate on things over and over until we think we’ve figured them out. And as I mentioned before, if all else fails, we’ll just make something up. Because to us, any information—even bad information—is better than not knowing.

I haven’t seen the film Dirty Harry, so I have no idea if it’s worth checking out or even worth referencing, but I am familiar with the line, “I gots to know!” I’m sure you are, too. If you don’t know the line, I’m sure you at least understand the sentiment.

It’s the way we go about the world, spinning our minds in circles, frantically flipping through pages, looking for answers around every corner until we practically grab life by the shoulders and scream, “I gots to know!”

But not knowing is a part of life, and anyone who tells you otherwise is either a narcissist or extremely out of touch. There are some thing we have to wait to know, and that can be good for us. It teaches us patience and humility, sometimes even persistence. There are other things we may never know, and that’s just something we have to accept.

We can’t know everything. And if we’re constantly thrown off by the things we don’t know, then we’re never going to find stable ground. There will always be something we wish we knew that we just don’t, and we have to learn to live with that. It’s how we were made, and we can’t have it any other way.

Personally, I’m working on turning the stress of not knowing into something positive. Maybe it’s an opportunity to engage my curiosity and learn something new. Or maybe it’s a sign that I need to redirect my attention to something that is within my control. Not knowing can be the door to something better, and that’s what I’m looking for right now.

In case you’re wondering, my car is fine. It was a minor repair that took less than a day, proving all my fears unjustified. Who could have predicted that?

Of course, there are times when the things we don’t know are much more consequential. When this post publishes, I’ll be in a hospital lobby waiting to hear news about my four-year-old nephew’s heart surgery. In cases like this, the only positive thing not knowing can lead us to is hope, and I know that’s what my family will be doing: believing the best outcome is the one that’s coming.

More often than not, that’s the case with all of life. We get stressed and upset about the things we aren’t sure of, and then they just sort of take care of themselves. If you’re worried about something, big or small, that you don’t know right now, I encourage you to hope for the best. Not knowing isn’t the worst thing; actually, it gives you the freedom to believe that the best thing is right around the corner. And I’d consider that a gift rather than a burden.

Thanks for reading, friends. Let’s talk again soon.