The Next Thing

I’ve been in my position long enough to know how the rhythm of the year goes. Once the temperature outside starts to drop, so does the amount of spare time I have on my schedule. Between big events, seasonal changes, fundraisers, special services, holidays, and everything else going on, the last few months of the year are always the busiest on my calendar. Maybe you can relate.

As you might expect, this busyness can take a bit of a toll on my mental state. Stress is a natural side-effect of having so much going on. And I’ve noticed that during these seasons, I get into a pattern of telling myself, “Once the first of the year comes and things calm down, then it’ll be better.”

This honestly becomes a sort of mantra for me. When I’m feeling particularly overloaded or just not looking forward to the next thing on my agenda, I remind myself that this time will pass, and it calms me down. Keeps me focused. Reminds me that I won’t always feels this way. In short, it helps get me through.

But is that really all I want? To get through this busy time of year? While that may be better than breaking down and falling behind, it doesn’t seem like I should be striving just to get by. To be honest, I want more than that for myself.

I want to thrive in every phase of life, including the ones that might be a little more stressful. And in order to do that, I have to adopt a different kind of attitude than the one that’s worked for me in the past—a better attitude concerning my present circumstances. That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do lately.

Instead of looking forward to a time when things are different, I’m instead asking myself, “What can I do to make the most out of the situation I’m in right now?” There is opportunity for learning, growth, and fulfillment even in the midst of pressure and discomfort, but I’ll never find it if I’m only focused on moving on to the next thing

Contentment isn’t found in moving on to some future next step. It can be found right here, right now. And it doesn’t require everything to be perfect; it only requires that I adopt the right attitude and the right approach to the situation I’m in.

The truth is that no phase of life is perfect. So if I’m constantly waiting for the next phase to come and be exactly the way I want it to be, then I’ll always be disappointed. I’ll always be waiting. And that’s not how I want to live my life.

I imagine that’s not how you want to live, either. It’s so natural for us to convince ourselves that if only things will change or if only we’ll wait long enough, our lives will eventually be perfect, and then we’ll be happy. But that’s simply not how it goes.

If we want to find contentment, if we want to grow, if we want to see progress, then we have to start making those things happen here and now. We can’t keep waiting, because the perfect time will never come. The present is the only time we have, and if we choose the right attitude now, we can find everything we need right where we are.

Life isn’t about getting to the next destination; life is about enjoying the journey and making the most of it. That’s what I’m trying to do in this season, and I’d encourage you to do the same.

Maybe you’re really enjoying where you are in life. If so, that’s great! That joy can motivate you to further growth and fulfillment. But even if your life isn’t exactly the way you want it to be right now, you can still find contentment and opportunities where you are.

Who knows? Once you start enjoying the journey, you might just find yourself moving in the direction you want to go. That’s been my experience in the past, and I’m choosing to press on believing it’ll come through for me again in this season. Why don’t you join me and give enjoying the ride a try?

Getting Off-Edge

Let’s face it: Life is stressful. Each of us faces our own unique challenges, but no matter what they are, we all know how it feels to be on-edge. To feel overwhelmed and nervous and tense and anxious all at the same time. You’ve been there, right?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like that feeling. I’ve spent more time in that on-edge headspace than I’d care to admit, which is why I do my best to limit my stressors at any given time.

Skills like planning ahead, managing expectations, and maintaining my mental health have gone a long way towards minimizing stress and keeping me away from the brink of despair. But no amount of preparation can keep us safe forever. No one is immune—certainly not me.

One thing I’ve found is that once I do get on-edge, it’s very difficult for me to back up. Even when the main source of my stress has been dealt with, the side effects linger. I can get on-edge in an instant, but getting off-edge is much more of a process.

It’s important to take the time to do that. Because being stressed all the time is extremely unhealthy and leads us down some dark paths. De-stressing takes time and effort, but I can think of a few reasons why it’s so worth it.

When I’m on-edge, everything seems like a big deal.

In technology, we have a term called “bandwidth.” It’s used to refer to the amount of data a particular channel can handle at one time. Once that channel starts to fill up, it gets to a point where it can’t handle anymore. And if it becomes overloaded, there’s a chance the whole network might just go down.

Just like data channels, each of our brains has a certain amount of bandwidth. We can only handle so much at a time: only so much stress, only so many tasks, and so on. When we’re on-edge, it’s an indication that our bandwidth is full or nearly full, and it doesn’t take much to push us past our breaking point.

There are times when I’ve got a lot on my mind and I think to myself, “I cannot handle one more thing occupying my attention right now.” If in that moment, someone asks me to do something—anything at all, even something really simple—it becomes too much. I can’t handle it. There just isn’t any more bandwidth to spare.

When we’re stressed, even the smallest triggers can set us off. It can be a stubbed toe, a botched food order, or a simple request from a coworker. Most days, it would be no big deal, but when we’re on-edge, everything feels like the end of the world. We aren’t equipped to deal with even the smallest of things because all of our mental energy is focused on our stress. And that’s no way to live.

Functioning in society requires at least a moderate amount of flexibility, the ability to adapt and face challenges. When we’re on-edge, we can’t do that. So rather than pressing on to the next task, we would do better to focus on calming ourselves down and freeing up some bandwidth first. Then, we’ll be better equipped for what!s next.

When I’m on-edge, I can’t do my best work.

It’s true that a reasonable amount of pressure (such as a deadline) can help spur creativity and good work. But if too much pressure is applied to a person, it starts to have an adverse effect. Stressed people don’t put out their best work because they aren’t able to focus on the task at hand.

When I’m on-edge, my stress is constantly in the back of my mind, taking up space and zapping precious mental energy that’s meant to be spent on more important things. I can’t even fully commit myself to fixing whatever’s causing my stress because the stress itself has become a problem. It’s a difficult cycle to break.

We all want to do the best job possible at the things we care about, right? If not, there would be no point in doing them. But in order to do our best, we have to be at our best. And we can’t be at our best if we’re crippled by anxiety.

The sad truth is that there are times when we just have to get things done. And there is no shame in getting something off your plate that is causing you stress. But if we’re always on-edge, moving from one late task to the next, just trying to stay above water, then we’re never going to thrive and make the contributions to the world that we’re meant to.

We can’t live constantly on-edge because if we do, we aren’t living up to all that we can be. Our stressed selves aren’t our best selves, and so we have to find a way to break free.

When I’m on-edge, I can’t be present with those I love.

This is my least favorite side effect of being on-edge. As much as these feelings might affect us, they also have a profound effect on those around us, especially those we’re closest to. They can feel the stress radiating off of us, and we end up creating a difficult environment for those we love.

My biggest issue with stress is the way it pulls me out of the moment when I’m tying to spend time with people. I might be eating dinner with family or just driving home with my wife, and I can’t focus on anything other than the source of my anxiety. I can’t hold a conversation or laugh at a joke or even look someone in the eyes because I’m so absorbed in whatever’s bothering me.

And that’s not how I want to be around my loved ones.

Stress is isolating, and it forces us deeper and deeper into our own heads. If we don’t find a way to escape it, we can eventually get to a point where the only thing we can focus on is our own troubles, even at times when we’re supposed to be focused on other people.

It’s not as simple as turning off a switch. If something’s got me on-edge at work, it doesn’t just stop existing when I leave the office. I carry it with me, even if I don’t want to, and it affects my interactions with the people I care about.

That’s why I have to find ways to back away from the edge, to break away from the anxiety, so that I am free to enjoy time with my wife, my friends, and my family. It’s the only way I’m able to be fully present and give them the time, attention, and care that they deserve.

Getting off-edge isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

I wish there was a one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with these feelings when they come and moving past them. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. It’s a process, and it looks different for everyone.

The good news, though, is that you probably already have some idea of what works for you. You know what calms you down when you’re upset and what relieves you after a long, hard day. For me, it’s journaling and kicking back with my wife and our dog for some TV binging. For you, it might be a hot bath and a good book. Or a night on the town.

Whatever it is that helps you get off-edge, take the time to do it. You’ll feel better, you’ll perform better, and your loved ones will thank you. Isn’t that worth it?

Everyone gets on-edge sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with being there. But there is something wrong with staying there, and that’s why we have to do what it takes to resolve the source of our stress and get ourselves back into a better headspace.

When we’re stressed, we feel weak, scared, and irritable. But once we break free from it, we return to a place of energy, hope, and contentment. That’s the place we want to approach the world from. And that’s the place we can be in if we put in the work to back away from the edge a little bit.

Pet Peeves

Nothing gets under my skin like a bad glitch. When I run into a device that isn’t working the way it’s supposed to, I can’t rest until I figure it out. In my mind, it’s like the technology and I are locked in a heated battle that won’t end until one of us gives up. Either I fix it, or I lose. And I refuse to admit defeat.

Example: When the smart devices at our house start acting up, I drop everything until they’re working properly again. It doesn’t matter what I’m supposed to be doing, what time it is, or how long it takes. I will unplug every outlet, reset every breaker, and update every firmware in that house until my home automations start working perfectly again.

I just can’t stand it when tech doesn’t work properly. It’s one of my quirks, I guess, and not one of my favorite ones. But if you’ve ever seen me offering someone tech support, you know that it’s serious business for me. I take it personally.

Another thing that bothers me—and I promise there’s a point to this—is bad theology. When I hear someone misquote scripture or rattle off some uncritical nonsense with dire theological consequences, I can hardly contain myself. I have to step in and say something. It gets my heart pumping, especially when I hear it coming from someone I care about it. It just irks me.

These are a couple of my pet peeves, and everyone has them. Little things that set us off to the point that we just can’t let go of them. To other people, they may seem trivial, like they don’t matter at all. But to us, they’re of the upmost importance. And they have a profound effect on us.

Usually when we talk about these quirks, it’s in the context of how to minimize them. We see them as a nuisance, as things that keep us from fully enjoying our lives. Even in the midst of bearing down on a technical issue or composing a response to a problematic statement about God, I’m usually thinking in the back of my head, “Why am I doing this again?”

We tend to see pet peeves as a bad thing. But as I’ve been reflecting on them and my experiences with them, I’m starting to think that there might be more to these tendencies than we give them credit for.

Have you ever wondered why we have pet peeves? Where they come from? Or what they might mean? As inconvenient as they are, and as much as we might like to rid ourselves of them, I think that these little quirks of ours might actually have some value.

Here’s what I mean: If something really bothers us that much—to the point that it even has the power to ruin our day—then it must matter to us quite a lot. When you look below the surface, what might seem trivial and petty at first could actually reveal what we value the most. Our pet peeves actually have something to teach us about who we are!

Is it possible that the things that annoy us the most might actually be hints at our passions? Maybe even our callings? I don’t know about you, but when I pay close attention to them, my pet peeves actually stem from some of the things I love the most.

I have a passion for technology. I love to see it used to create beautiful things, bring people together, and make the world a better place. And when things go awry with tech, I get frustrated. But that frustration isn’t actually a bad thing; it’s just the flip side of my passion.

Same with my home. I love our house. It’s my family’s own space, and I’m committed to doing everything I can to make it safe and comfortable. When something’s wrong with it, that really bothers me, not because I’m being too picky, but because I really care. That caring is a good thing.

I think you get the picture here. In a sense, pet peeves are just the flip side of passion. When we love something, we sometimes express that love in different ways. And one of those ways can be frustration when something is wrong with the thing we care about.

Maybe we would do well to see our pet peeves not as things to be avoided, but rather to be examined. When you find yourself getting frustrated by something, ask, “What does it say about me that I care so much about this thing? What can I learn from this?”

That isn’t to say that we shouldn’t keep our frustrations in check. We’re not meant to be disgruntled all the time, after all. But life isn’t always perfect, and when we’re feeling irked, we may as well use it for something positive rather than simply trying to avoid it entirely.

Our pet peeves can teach us important lessons about who we are and what we care about. And if we do the hard work, we can use that information to better pursue our passions and become more better people. That’s what I’m trying to do with my pet peeves, anyway. And I’d invite you to do the same.

What are your pet peeves? And what do you think they tell you about yourself? Whether it’s cars, grammar, design, or something else entirely, I think there’s something we can learn from each of our pet peeves if we only dive into them. I’d love to start that process together if you’d like to reach out.

That’s all I’ve got for this week, friends. Thanks for listening to me vent. I hope you found it helpful, too. And I hope to see you back here at the same time next week. Until then!

What I Love About Home

Hey, friends! Between family vacation and a work retreat, I’ve been traveling a lot the past few weeks, and that’s left me with a bad case of homesickness. Even now that I’m starting to settle back in, I still find myself yearning for that at-home feeling. Have you ever been there?

I’ve always seen this blog as a place to share what’s on my mind, and lately, what’s been on my mind is home. Specifically, I’ve been reflecting on all of the things I love about it. So that’s what I’ve got for you this week: a list of my favorite things about this place I call home. Here we go.

1. Home is where my dog is: cuddles, walks, shedding, slobber, play time, and all.

2. Home is where Katherine and I can fully relax, fully be ourselves, and fully spend time just the two of us.

3. Home is where my bed is. My comfortable, wonderful bed.

4. Home is where my friends can visit anytime and just catch up.

5. Home is where I have a stable internet connection at all times.

6. Home is where I can work in my office with my awesome coworkers and all of the gadgets and toys I’ve collected.

7. Home is where I don’t have to worry about my phone battery because I’ve always got a charger within arm’s reach.

8. Home is where my closet is. So many clothes and shoes to choose from!

9. Home is where I don’t need a GPS to get around.

10. Home is where my family and I can sit down for a lively meal whenever we want.

11. Home is where I don’t need shoes to run out into the backyard and enjoy the weather for a minute.

12. Home is where I can get into my regular routine and stay there. It’s where I can know, to a reasonable degree, what to expect out of every day.

I could go on, but I’ll spare you

They say you don’t truly appreciate something until it’s gone. I’ve found that to be true myself. I think that the things I’ve missed the most about home while I’ve been away are the things that truly make it “home” for me. And I’ve noticed a few recurring themes.

Of course, the people are what I miss the most. (I’m obviously including Winter in the people category.) The most important thing about home will always be my family and friends. Without them, it wouldn’t mean a thing.

But I think the second most important aspect of home is familiarity. I like home because it’s what I’m used to. Home is my regular routine, my regular eating places, my regular pillow. New experiences are great for a short time, but I’ll always trade novelty for the safety and security of home.

And then there’s an element that I hadn’t really thought about before: control. Being away from home means entering spaces that aren’t mine and relying on other people in ways I usually don’t have to. Something as simple as being able to drive from one place to another is a luxury I enjoy at home but not everywhere else. Home is a place I can make my own, and that’s something I’m learning to cherish more and more.

The question of what “home” means is one that’s fascinated me for a long time. I’ve always known it’s more than a place, but I’ve never been able to pinpoint what exactly it is. Being away for a little while has helped me get some glimpses of what home means, but as with anything, I’m sure there’s more to it than I can see.

So I’ll ask you: What does home mean to you? What do you love most about home that you can’t get anywhere else? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Whatever home means, I’m happy to be here. It’s my favorite place, and as Dorothy said, there’s no place like it. In addition to some wonderful experiences, my travels have given me a deeper appreciation for home that I won’t soon forget. Here’s to lots more time enjoying it.

Thanks for reading, friends! I’ll see you next week.

Why You Should Update Your Phone This Week

If you’re an iPhone user, you probably already know that Apple releases a major new version of the device’s software every September. This year is no different, with iOS 13 coming out very soon. If you’ve got an iPhone 6s or newer, you can download the update this Thursday.

I’m a nerd, so I’ve been playing with the beta versions of iOS 13 all summer. But I know that a lot of people are wary of updating their phones and having to learn new features, so I thought I’d share with you a few of my favorite things about the software and why I think it’s worth the update.

Here are my iOS 13 highlights.

Photos

Let’s be real: Besides texting and browsing Instagram, the thing people most use their phones for is taking and viewing photos. No vacation or visit to the coffee shop is complete without a few snapshots, right? We love taking pictures with our phones, and Apple knows that. Which is why they’ve completely remade the Photos app this year with a focus on discovering old pictures you may have forgotten.

Now, the Photos tab is broken up into sections. You’ve still got the All Photos view that you’re used to, but if you swipe to the right, you’ll see new views called Days, Months, and Years. As you’d imagine, these views group your photos based on time and show you highlights from each period.

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One month in the iOS 13 Photos app’s months feed.

My favorite is Months. When I go to this view, I can scroll through a timeline of highlighted photos and videos from each month all the way back to when I first got an iPhone. I see vacations, birthdays, big events, and some small moments I’d forgotten about, all in one beautiful feed. It’s a great way to re-discover old photos that I normally wouldn’t come across, and I absolutely love it.

If you take a lot of pictures with your phone but don’t always do the best job of keeping up with them, the new Photos app can really help with that. I was amazed at how many pictures I’d forgotten about. Finding them again was a fun, meaningful experience that I wouldn’t have been able to have without iOS 13, and I hope you can have an experience like that, too.

Reminders

To-do lists are my native language. The only way I can get anything done is by putting it into my task management app as a reminder. I get a miniature adrenaline rush every time I check something off my list, and that’s what keeps me motivated throughout the day.

That’s why I was very excited to hear that Apple was completely redesigning the Reminders app for iOS 13. I’ve always found the app to be a great way of getting things done, and with the new features it’s getting this year, it’s an even more indispensable tool for anyone who wants to use their phone to stay organized.

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I love how clean and organized my new Reminders dashboard is.

The most noticeable change in this update is the new Reminders main screen. At the top, you’ll see four new smart lists: Today, Scheduled, All, and Flagged. And underneath those are the traditional lists that you create yourself. I’ve found this new layout to be much more functional and enjoyable to use than the old, card-based look.

I love the Today view. It allows me to focus in on just the tasks that I have scheduled for the day without getting distracted by things I need to focus on down the line. I keep my lists very meticulously scheduled, and this allows me to stay on top of my tasks without ever getting behind. The Today view is definitely the one I find myself using the most. For example, I check it every morning to see what I need to be doing for the blog, and it keeps me on track.

I also really appreciate the new customization options for traditional lists. They now include an array of colors and a whole slew of icons that you can use to set each list apart. In addition, new organizational features allow you to group lists together and break tasks down into sub-tasks with different details and due dates.

Basically, the new Reminders app gives productivity-minded people like me tons of new ways to stay organized the way we want to while still maintaining the simplicity of the previous version. Whether you use Reminders to keep up with your grocery list or manage all of your tasks at work, this new update will help you stay organized in the way that best fits you.

Share Sheet

Please don’t read this header and think, “I’ve never even heard of that. I should skip this section.” Even if you don’t know what the share sheet is, I’m sure you’ve used it before. And if you update to iOS 13, you’re going to notice pretty quickly just how different it is.

Have you ever been looking at a photo or a link on your phone and wanted to send it to someone? What did you do? You probably hit that little button that looks like an arrow coming out of a rounded square, right? That’s called the Share button, and that big list of icons that comes up when you tap it is called the share sheet.

Basically, the share sheet is just a list of a ways that you can send things to your friends or from one app to another. It’s a great way to send a picture from the Photos app, for example. And in iOS 13 the share sheet has been completely reimagined in a great way. The new layout is going to mean easier access and faster sharing for everyone.

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I’ve just got to share this adorable photo of Winter with everyone I know.

The first thing you’ll notice in the new share sheet is the row of people at the top. Using artificial intelligence (basically Siri), your phone will suggest people it thinks you might want to share with. Usually it’s the people you talk to the most. And if the person you’re wanting to share with is in that list, all you have to do is tap their picture, and voila! You’ve shared it.

If what you’re looking for isn’t in the top row, though, the second row is a list of apps that you can use to share. You can use this row to send a text or an email, AirDrop to a nearby device, or access other apps or services you have installed on your phone.

Underneath that is a vertical list of actions and shortcuts specific to the type of object you’re trying to share. If it’s a photo, you can add it to an album. If it’s a link, you can bookmark it. If it’s text, you can copy it. And so on. Each action has a handy icon that you can use to quickly find what you’re looking for and get it done.

I really like the new share sheet because it allows me to do whatever it is I’m trying to do more quickly and efficiently. It also just looks great, especially if you take the time to add photos to your contacts. Plus, it’s completely customizable, so you can rearrange everything to make it work for you! While the share sheet isn’t the flashiest iPhone feature ever, I think that these changes really will make a difference in the everyday lives of iPhone users who decide to update.

Dark Mode

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Everything looks cooler in dark mode.

It’s undeniable, people love dark mode. Whether it’s to conserve battery life, to save your eyes from blinding whites when you first wake up, or just because you like the way it looks, dark mode is finally an option on the iPhone. It might take some time for app-makers to get onboard with the new look, but at launch, every Apple app supports it, which makes for a very cool experience.

I personally don’t use dark mode full-time. Instead, I have my phone set to switch to dark mode at sunset and then switch back to light made in the morning. That way, I get the best of both worlds! I think it’s really handy that Apple included this option with the dark mode feature, and I’d suggest you give it a try.

Bonus: Why You Should Update Your iPad, Too

I’m an iPad fanatic. I use my 11-inch iPad Pro for everything from reading to graphics work to writing this very blog post. And this year, Apple is splitting the iPad’s operating system off from the iPhone’s. Starting in a couple of weeks, iPads will no longer run iOS, but iPadOS.

Of course, the two systems still have a lot of similarities. The iPad is receiving every new feature that the iPhone is, including all of the ones listed above. But, with iPadOS, Apple is taking things even further and adding features traditionally thought to belong to computers. And thus, they are making the iPad even more powerful.

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My iPad home screen with iPadOS 13.

On the most basic level, iPadOS rethinks the home screen, allowing for more apps to be included and, for the first time, home screen widgets! There also some deeper system changes like mouse support and finally allowing USB flash drives to be accessed in the Files app. And possibly my favorite iPadOS feature is the full, desktop-class Safari. I can actually edit my website on my iPad now!

These are features that iPad users have been requesting for a long time. The truth is that the device has outgrown its roots as a “giant iPod touch.” People (including me) are using iPads as full-blown computers now, and these updates are Apple’s way of acknowledging that and helping us take the iPad to the next level.

More New Features Coming

Of course, these are just a few of my favorite iOS 13 features. There are plenty more included in the update. If you want, you can download it now and try them all for yourself.

There are also more new features coming in future updates to iOS 13. Rather than putting everything in one big release, Apple has started phasing in some new things throughout the year. The next version, iOS 13.1 is coming September 30, and I’m sure it won’t be long until we hear what’s coming in iOS 13.2 as well. Here are a few things I’m looking forward to:

• automatic ETA sharing in Maps

• sending audio to multiple sets of headphones from one iPhone

• the ability to download and add new fonts to the system

• shared folders in iCloud Drive

• the single most popular feature every year: new emoji

The iOS platform is vibrant and booming. I am always so excited to keep up with what’s happening in it. People use the iPhone because it offers an incredible mobile experience, and that experience is only further enhanced by the updates in iOS 13. It’s a fun, solid update that I’d suggest to anyone who uses an iPhone.

Now I want to hear from you: What do you think of all these new features? Which is your favorite? And are you planning to upgrade? I’d love to know your thoughts in the comments or on social media.

Thanks for reading my iOS 13 preview! I hope you enjoyed it, and I also hope you enjoy all these great new features if you do decide to update. I’ll see you all next week.