I feel like I should start this post with an apology. This isn’t the sort of content you usually come here for. But I’ve had a rant building up in my head for years, and after the recent title reveal of the franchise’s final entry, I can no longer remain silent.

There is no logical coherence—none whatsoever—to the naming of the many, many sequels to 2001’s The Fast and the Furious.

My complaint is completely unrelated to the plot of the films, which I actually quite enjoy. Considering the series is a multi-decade action/racing juggernaut with a good deal of soap opera drama thrown in, we can forgive the odd plot hole, dropped storyline, or retconned fake death. After all, the main purpose of these movies is to have fun; narrative is secondary.

But the titles, they’re just unforgivably bad. And considering the fact that these names are how people will be referring to these films forever, you would expect the creative teams to have done a better job.

Let’s briefly walk through each entry in the series together and consider the franchise’s naming scheme, to the extent that there is one.

The Fast and the Furious (2001): This is a great name for a movie. It tells you everything you need to know going in: There’s going to be racing, and there’s going to be drama. 10/10.
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003): The too/two pun is a little played out, but I’ll give them this one. At the very least, it’s clear that this is a sequel to the first movie.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006): At the time, this seemed more like a spin-off than an actual sequel. But Tokyo Drift is a pretty cool name for a movie, and this film gives us our first indication of what the series is called: The Fast and the Furious. Not bad.
Fast & Furious (2009): This is where things start to go off the rails naming-wise. The fourth film in The Fast and the Furious franchise is called Fast & Furious? Like, the original name but without the “the”? Maybe it was supposed to be edgy or represent a new, more focused direction for the films, but to me, it just seems lazy.
Fast Five (2011): We’re going back to the basics. No fancy puns, and no sharing names with a previous, separate film. This movie is about fast cars, and it’s the fifth one. Makes total sense.
Fast & Furious 6 (2013): What in the world were they thinking here? They go back to the original movie’s title, drop the “the,” and add a six to the end of it. Is it the sixth movie following Fast and Furious? No, that one was only two movies ago. You have to add the silent “the”s back into this one to understand it. This movie name is stupid and should feel bad.
Furious 7 (2015): Again, the movie titles work best when they are simple. You get some “fast” or some “furious” and a number. It’s all you need. Why mess with perfection?
The Fate of the Furious (2017): The puns have gotten completely out of control. Someone figured out that an F next to an 8 kind of sounds like “fate,” so they ran with it. It’s not a good play on words, people. The title also implies that this is the final movie since it reveals the characters’ fate. But of course, there are three more movies after this. Or maybe two if you ask Vin Diesel, but we’ll get to that in a minute.
Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019): The saga’s first and so far only spin-off. Hobbs & Shaw tells us who the main characters are, so that tracks. But confusingly, this film introduces a new name for the series. It’s no longer The Fast and the Furious, it’s just Fast & Furious. Okay then.
F9: The Fast Saga (2021): This time, they didn’t even bother to pick one of their two F-words. It’s just F this time. You get it, right? The series is also now on its third title, switching to The Fast Saga. I have no idea what to call this loosely-related pile of movies anymore.
Fast X (2023): As the series nears its end, the creators have decided to honor its legacy by switching to a fancy Roman numeral in the title. How many people are going to call this one Fast Ex? I do give them credit for not trying to make a “Fasten your seatbelts” pun, though. That took some self-control.
Fast X: Part 2 (2025): And finally, we get to the last entry in the Fast Saga, and perhaps its most poorly-named. I guess ending a series on the number 11 would be awkward, so they decided to make Fast X a two-parter. Because what’s better than one number in the title of a movie? Two numbers.

It’s the second part of the tenth film in the most chaotically- and nonsensically-named franchise in movie history. If anyone remembers these films in 2045, it’s going to take ten solid minutes of searching to figure out which one we’re referring to in conversation. “Was that the one with the ‘the’ in the title or not?”

To be fair, it is very on-brand. The movies are stupid, fun, and shallow with no real message other than, “Cars are cool,” and, “Family is all you need.” But also, most of the villains are somehow related to the heroes, so maybe that last message is a bit murky.

I’m still going to watch the last movie though, both when it releases in 2023 and when it releases in 2025. Because if The Fast Saga—or whatever we’re calling it now—has taught me anything, it’s that explosions and car chases are awesome, and I’ll apparently watch them no matter what the movie’s called.

Update on July 17, 2023:

During a discussion of the series on Mastodon, Marty Day helpfully pointed out that the Fast Saga films have completely different titles in Japan, and they are amazing. I wish they used these names internationally:

Wild Speed (The Fast and the Furious)
Wild Speed X2 (2 Fast 2 Furious)
Wild Speed X3: Tokyo Drift (The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift)
Wild Speed MAX (Fast & Furious)
Wild Speed MEGA MAX (Fast Five)
Wild Speed: Euro Mission (Fast & Furious 6)
Wild Speed: Sky Mission (Furious 7)
Wild Speed: Ice Break (The Fate of the Furious)
Wild Speed: Super Combo (Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw)
Wild Speed: Jet Break (F9)
Wild Speed: Fire Boost (Fast X)

These titles are exciting and, importantly, distinct from one another. As long as they stick the landing with Fast X: Part 2—and I’m confident they will—these will become the canonical titles in my mind.