I’ve had this feeling on and off for a long time. But mostly on. And I may be the only person in the world who feels this way, so please forgive me if you find this blog post to be unrelatable. But for the past four years or so, I’ve had this dreadful feeling come over me from time to time. It feels like there is constantly some huge obstacle looming ahead of me in the future. It’s something that I fear, something I know I’m going to dread doing, and something I’m probably going to put off until the last minute because I absolutely do not want to face it. It could be a paper, a project at work, or an uncomfortable conversation, but I feel like there is almost always something looming over me. And I don’t like it. So I’m writing a blog post to help myself think through it. You’re welcome.
This weekend, I finished two major projects. I edited a wedding video for two of my dear friends, and I wrote a term paper for my Introduction to Christian History class. These were big projects that took a lot of time and energy, but they weren’t that difficult. I actually enjoyed doing them. But they had been stressing me out for the past month as I was procrastinating and procrastinating on them. Why? Because I was afraid of them. They were looming over me, and they got scarier and scarier with time.
The truth is that the hardest part of those projects was choosing to get started. Once I got the ball rolling, everything else fell into the place. The video turned out great, and I’m actually pretty proud of my paper. That’s the thing about these looming things. They’re really not that bad once you get started. But you have to get past the fear and actually take that first step. That’s the only difficult part.
But there’s another thing about these things that loom over me. Once I get past one of them, it seems like I barely have time to celebrate before another one pops up. And then the cycle starts all over again. Right now, I’m in a stress-free place. I don’t have anything majorly difficult going on until finals. But I already have this subtle feeling that there’s no way this bliss can last. Something else is going to be looming over me soon, I just know it.
So what can we do about these things that loom over us? How can we break the cycle? As you can probably tell, I haven’t quite mastered that yet. But I’m going to try something. I’m choosing to see these big, looming projects not as obstacles but as goals to accomplish. I’m trying to remember that they’re not as bad as they seem; all I have to do is start, and everything else will work itself out. I’m going to choose to take that first step sooner rather than later so that I can enjoy the stress-free bliss for longer periods of time before something else comes along. Basically, I’m choosing to stand up to the looming things rather than avoid them like I’ve done in the past.
Again, I’m sorry if this post isn’t something you relate to. But I have to think I’m not the only one who feels this way. And it’s time for it to stop. I’m choosing not to dread things anymore. It’s time to face the big challenges, to overcome them, and to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that comes after it. No more looming things. Who’s with me?