Decisions

My reactions to this pandemic come in waves. For the most part, I feel like I’ve been handling it pretty well, but there have certainly been times when it’s taken an emotional toll on me.

I miss my friends.

I miss my family.

I miss going to the movies.

I miss eating out with people.

I miss being able to leave my house without feeling like it’s a constant game of chance that I or someone I love could eventually lose.

I miss the way things used to be. Who knew all that we were taking for granted when life was “normal?”

This pandemic has forced us into making a lot of decisions that we’re not used to or prepared for. Decisions that are key to our health and longevity. But they don’t really feel that way on the micro level.

I don’t think the human brain is made to be in survival mode for this long. We are living in a constant state of low-probability but high-risk threat from an invisible force that can often seem so distant. How do we even begin to process that?

It’s tough to know that we’re making good decisions when the situation is so murky. Our leaders aren’t helping with their constant infighting and inconsistent communication. The whole situation has been politicized in a time when we need to be a united front more than ever.

What’s even harder is knowing that most of the rest of the world has moved on. They dealt with the virus, got it under control, and have mostly resumed their normal lives. We’d all like to live like that. Here, though, the pandemic is raging on and leaving a lot of damage in its wake.

There are many reasons the problem is so widespread here. But I think one of the big ones—at least the one I’ve been thinking about the most lately—is the cognitive dissonance that we’re all dealing with.

On the one hand, we know the virus is dangerous. On the other hand, we can’t see it or even its effects most of the time. A lot of us don’t know anyone personally who’s been affected by it. So many people are going about their normal business and seem to be doing just fine, while others haven’t left home in months for their health and the greater good. How do we know what’s best for us?

I tend to err on the side of caution, but even I have been struggling to know if I’m making the right calls. I don’t want to go overboard and isolate myself unnecessarily. But at the same time, I worry that even I am not taking this thing seriously enough. Shouldn’t we all be taking as many precautions as we possibly can?

When something doesn’t seem to affect us, it’s hard for us to care about it. We don’t want to take on any inconveniences if we aren’t going to benefit from them. And this virus can seem so far away, so disconnected from our everyday lives, that we don’t really see the need to change what we’re doing.

But the truth is that this thing is very real, and it’s affecting a lot of people in very real ways. People are dying. Others are suffering from health consequences that will last the rest of their lives.

If we’re not willing to be careful to protect ourselves, surely we can at least go out of our way to look out for those who are most susceptible and likely to die from it, right?

All I know for sure is that I want normalcy back. I want the low-level anxiety I feel anytime I leave the house to dissipate. I want my loved ones—and everybody’s loved ones—to be safe and healthy. I want to go to the movies again.

So I’m doing my best to do my part. It’s a daily struggle to figure out the right approach, and I’m not as consistent as I should be. But I’m trying to stay informed and make the best decisions for myself based on what’s happening around me.

Right now, that looks like a lot of staying home and declining invitations to things. Things that I’d really love to go to. Things that I feel awful missing out on and that make me cry when I have to say no. Things that make me wonder if I’d be better off going about my business as usual like a lot of those around me.

But I have to believe that I’m doing it for a reason. I have to believe that every time I choose to avoid physical contact with someone, I’m giving the virus one less opportunity to spread its destruction. There’s no telling how many times I could have gone somewhere and gotten sick but didn’t because I made the right call. Then again, there’s no telling how many times I stayed home when I could have gone out and been just fine. 

It’s a game of chance, but it’s a game I simply can’t lose, because losing could mean great harm to myself or the people I love. Navigating these risk-versus-reward calls day in and day out is hard. It’s exhausting. But I have to keep doing it.

Our minds weren’t made to make decisions in this kind of environment long-term. It’s easy to question or criticize others, but I think the best thing we can do is recognize that we’re all going through this together and try to practice as much empathy as we can muster.

I don’t envy anyone who’s struggling to make the best decisions for themselves and their families right now. It’s a tough spot for each of us to be in. I hope you’re staying safe, doing well, and taking care of yourself and those around you.

This can’t last forever; it will end. And when it does, every inconvenience and difficulty we take on in the name of overcoming this pandemic will have been worth it.

Let’s see each other through this. Stay safe, friends.

Jesus in the Storm

Like everyone, I’m juggling a lot of different emotions right now. The problems we’re facing in our country—only made more difficult by the instability, division, and feelings of helplessness that they’ve highlighted—have left me quite discomforted. It’s not an easy time to navigate.

But in the midst of it all, one thing I won’t allow myself to do is lose hope. As a person of faith, I know that there is no situation so dire that it can overcome my trust in God. Even now, I cling to this hope that I’ve been blessed with.

In my personal devotion time lately, I’ve been reading through the book of John, which has always been my favorite gospel. I was really encouraged by this passage, so I thought I’d share it with you. It’s a story most of us have probably heard before: Jesus walking on the water. But I think it’s worth revisiting today.

Here’s John 16:16-21 from the Christian Standard Bible:

When evening came, his disciples went down to the sea, got into a boat, and started across the sea to Capernaum. Darkness had already set in, but Jesus had not yet come to them. A high wind arose, and the sea began to churn. After they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus walking on the sea. He was coming near the boat, and they were afraid. But he said to them, “It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Then they were willing to take him on board, and at once the boat was at the shore where they were heading. 

The disciples were out on the sea without their teacher when a terrible storm hit. These men were alone in the middle of the sea fighting for their very lives. Can you imagine the fear they must have felt? Maybe our current circumstances have rendered that fear a little more accessible to you now.

But then here comes Jesus walking on the water. That must have been a strange sight to behold. To be honest, I’m not sure I can really picture someone walking on water, but the gospel tells us that Jesus was somehow doing it. And it just freaked the disciples out even more.

Their fear was put to rest, though, the moment that he spoke. I’m not a big fan of the way verse 20 is translated into English. It might be the best way to render it grammatically, but this translation misses the entire theological point of Jesus’s statement here.

The Greek version of Jesus’s statement is “ἐγώ εἰμι,” which can be translated, “It is I,” but more literally means, “I am.” That phrase, “I am,” is so much more than just a statement of presence. It’s Jesus proclaiming his identity as God to the disciples.

In Exodus 3, Moses is conversing with God before going to Egypt to lead the Israelites to freedom and asks for his name. God responds, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you” (vv. 14). The name of God in the Bible is Yahweh, “I am.”

So when Jesus tells his disciples, “I am,” they immediately know what that means. This is what we call a theophany. Yes, Jesus is identifying himself as their teacher and their leader, but he’s also identifying himself as their lord and their God. And in doing so, he dispelled all of their fear.

Suddenly, the storm didn’t seem so bad, because God was with them. In fact, the gospel tells us that as soon as Jesus got into the boat, they arrived at their destination. They had weathered the storm because the great “I am” was with them.

We’re in the middle of a storm right now. It’s scary, it’s life-threatening, and we don’t know when it’s going to end. But we can know one thing: Jesus is with us in the storm.

He loves us. He’ll never leave us. He wants nothing but the best for us. And he is with us, even now.

That doesn’t mean the danger isn’t real. It doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be concerned or make smart decisions for our health or admit that we’re scared. It simply means that even though things are difficult right now, we know we can face the storm, because God is with us.

That gives me hope today. I pray it gives you hope as well. Let’s continue to encourage each other and see each other through this, friends. You are not alone.

Thank you all for reading, and I’ll see you next week.

Two More Years ‘Til 30

This past Sunday was my 28th birthday. It was a simple, special, great day. I go to worship with my church family in the morning. And when I got home, my wife surprised me with a lovely takeout meal from our favorite restaurant, which we haven’t been to in months. As if that weren’t enough, she’d picked up a polar pizza (way better than birthday cake), a bottle of Mello Yello, and my go-to gift request: an Eve smart light switch for the house. 😄

We obviously couldn’t go anywhere, so we spent the day at home relaxing with our dog. It’s all I ever could have wanted; I feel truly blessed.

I also feel keenly aware that my twenties are almost over. It seems like I’ve been a twentysomething for so long that it’s sort of become a part of my identity. I can’t even imagine what it would be like not to be in my twenties. And yet, that reality is quickly approaching.

27 was a good, steady year after several years of rapid change. I moved back to Arkansas, started working at Cavanaugh, and graduated seminary at 24. Fell in love with Katherine at 25. Built a house, got married, and adopted Winter at 26. And at 27, I just enjoyed it all.

Not to say that my most exciting, change-filled years are behind me. We’ve still got lots more in store… someday. But for now, life is good. I’m one content 28-year-old.

I might regret saying this publicly, but I’ve recently renewed my commitment to my health. I can’t eat junk and sit around all day anymore if I want to live long enough to meet my grandkids. My body’s still agile enough now to get back into shape if I’m willing to put in the work, and if I can build a routine that keeps me there, I think it’ll serve me well in the decades to come.

Long-term thinking might be my theme for 28. I’ve got a lot of things I want to accomplish in my life, but they’re all going to require a foundation that I’m still building. Being intentional about making those small steps towards life goals is something I’d like to put even more of my energy into this year.

Another theme that’s weaved its way into my life lately is learning when to speak and when to simply listen. There’s a lot going on in the world right now, and my first inclination is always to share my views on everything. But between the pandemic, the reckoning our country is going through concerning systemic racism, and the variety of reactions from those around me, I’ve been stunned into silence more often than not.

I’m stilly trying to navigate when it’s my place to speak and when I’d be better off amplifying the voices of others. When I should push back on statements that are harmful or wrong and when it’s just going to be unproductive. When to keep trying to push people to see things differently and when I might need to take a fresh look myself.

It’s humbling. And anxiety-inducing. And even a little bit angering at times. To be honest, I sometimes wonder if I’m doing enough to speak into these difficult times.

But then I remember that the weight of it all doesn’t rest solely on me. I have my part to play in making the world a more just place, and my job is simply to find that place. I’m still working on it; it’s a lifelong process. But lately, I’ve found that place to be much less wordy than I did before.

I still have things to say, as this rambly birthday reflection makes clear. I’m just trying to figure out when and how I’m meant to speak. And I’m always doing my best to listen to those who know so much more about what’s going on than I do.

It’s a weird time to be celebrating a birthday with everything else going on. I’d be lying if I said the state of the world doesn’t keep me up at night. But I believe I’ve been given this life and these circumstances for a reason, and that reason is to make the world a better place for everyone I can.

So that’s where I’m at 28 years and a couple of days into this life. I’m extremely thankful. I’m also burdened for the suffering happening around me and hopeful that I can somehow make a difference. And that’s what I’ll continue trying to do throughout 28, 29, and… whatever comes after that.

Thanks for reading, friends, and thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. You were a part of making it such a special day.

See you next week!

WWDC 2020

Another year, another of Apple’s famous Worldwide Developer Conferences! This year, the conference was completely digital, which gave more people than ever access to all of the announcements, sessions, and tips that the company shared with its software creators around the world.

I always look forward to WWDC because it gives us our first glimpse of the new software updates coming to all of Apple’s products in the fall. If you enjoy getting that big update to your iPhone, iPad, or Mac every September, then the conference is a great way to get a preview of what’s coming your way.

Throughout the conference last week, I did my best to keep up with all of the headlines, tidbits, and announcements big and small to get a complete look at what’s coming for Apple users in the next few months. I even downloaded a few of the software betas to get an idea of how these new updates are going to work. I’m happy to report that these updates are going to be amazing, and I thought I’d share the things that I’m looking forward to most when they become available to everyone.

iOS 14: Home Screen Makeover

The iPhone’s home screen has looked pretty much the same for the past 13 years, and users have been begging for a little more customization. Apple is delivering on those requests this year in two big ways: home screen widgets and the app library.

If you’ve ever seen an Android home screen, then you’re familiar with widgets. Basically, they’re little panes of information that live on your home screen so you don’t have to open an app to check the weather or see what’s next on your calendar. These widgets can be resized and rearranged to fit the look you’re going for, and any app maker can create widgets for you to add to your home screen.

I’ve been playing with widgets on my home screen and so far settled on the two most important ones: Reminders and Calendar. Now, instead of having to open those apps to see what’s happening on any given day, I’ve got a constantly-updated quick view of everything I need to accomplish for the day. So handy!

And then there’s the app library. Have you ever wanted to have an app available when you need it but not put it on your home screen? I know I’ve spent countless hours meticulously trying to organize and arrange the icons on my home screen, and when I have to add a new one, it throws everything off. Maybe you don’t have that problem, but I know a lot of nerds who do.

But no more! Now, every app on your phone doesn’t have to be on your home screen. All of your apps are intelligently organized into one page called the app library, and you can save your precious home screen space just for the ones you need the most often. I’ve managed to trim my phone down to just a single home screen of the apps I use every day; the rest are just a slide away in the app library.

For something as pivotal as the home screen, any change is huge. And I can honestly say I’ve never been this happy with the look of my home screen before! The ability to customize it just the way I want is amazing, and I think that once you’ve had a chance to try these new organization features, you’ll see how useful they can be for you, too.

iPadOS 14: Taking Advantage of the Big Screen

The iPad has come a long way from being just “an oversized iPhone.” In fact, a lot of people like me use their iPads every day for all of their computing needs. The iPad is a powerful device, but sometimes, it can feel like it’s being held back by its software.

That’s why this year, Apple is introducing the Designed for iPad campaign. The company is pushing itself and other developers to create iPad apps that take advantage of the device’s unique shape and set of use cases, rather than just making blown up iPhone apps.

For now, that looks like the addition of some more Mac-like features to core iPad apps. Photos, for example, now has a sidebar that makes navigating and organizing your library a breeze. And the Files app has new toolbar menus that offer great functionality without taking up a lot of screen space. These new concepts are applied to most of Apple’s stock apps in iPadOS 14.

These might seem like simple changes, but for those of us who use the iPad every day, they’re great quality-of-life improvements, and hopefully they’ll inspire all of developers to think a little more deeply about how their apps can be designed to best take advantage of what the iPad has to offer.

macOS 11: All-New, Modern Design

This might be the biggest updated to the Mac’s software that I’ve ever experienced. I’ve been a Mac user for ten years, and I’m so excited to see the design of macOS finally catch up with the look that the iPhone and iPad have had for a long time.

Everything in macOS 11 is beautiful, modern, and bright. The icons are all-new. The window design highlights content and minimizes all of that extra chrome that used to get in the way. And best of all, Apple’s software now all looks uniform and coherent. There hasn’t been this level of design parity on Apple’s platforms in all the time I’ve been using them, and that really excites me.

Combine this major software update with the announcement that Apple is going to start making their own processors for Macs the way they do iPhones and iPads, and you’ve got probably the biggest WWDC for Mac fans ever. Even though I love my iPad and use it for most of my computing needs, I’m still happy to see the Mac getting the attention it deserves. And this will make those times I do have to use a Mac much more enjoyable!

watchOS 7: Sleep Tracking

The Apple Watch has become a key health device in the lives of so many of its users over the years. I use mine to track my activity level, to make sure I don’t spend too much time sitting each day, and even to keep tabs of my heart rate to make sure nothing funny is going on there. The Watch’s health features have literally saved lives, and Apple keeps adding new health angles every year.

This year, the big addition is sleep tracking. Now, users who wear their watches to bed can keep track of how long and how well they sleep. It starts by setting a sleep goal and a schedule of when you’d like to go to bed each night. Then, your watch will alert you when it’s bedtime, wake you up at the set time, and let you know if you’re meeting the goals you set.

I’ve never worn my Apple Watch to bed before, but I started trying it to test out this sleep tracking feature, and I have to say it’s been great. I actually enjoy being woken up by my watch rather than my phone, and the bedtime reminders help me stay on a better sleep schedule. I could definitely still use some improvement in this area of my health, but I think that this feature might be just what I need to get to where I want to be.

tvOS 14: User Profile Switching for Games

My wife and I subscribe to Apple Arcade because we love the high-quality, ad-free games that the service offers. The most fun way to play these games is on our living room TV. However, the Apple TV is tied to my iCloud account and not hers, so she can’t play games on it without using AirPlay from her phone. This is not an ideal user experience.

With the new tvOS update, Apple says that family members will be able to switch profiles and sync their gaming data down from iCloud. That way, no matter who’s playing, all of their progress will be saved for the next time they play, even if it’s on a different device. This is how gaming on shared devices should work.

I haven’t had a chance to try tvOS 14 yet. (After living through last year’s rocky beta cycle, Katherine told me not to put any betas on devices we share. 😅) But I’m really looking forward to giving this feature a try in the fall, and I’m happy that Apple is working on making these shared devices more useful to everyone in the home!

And More

Of course, these are just my highlights. There are so many new things coming in the fall. One other update that I didn’t mention and will vastly improve my experience on the phone: Incoming calls no longer take up the whole screen! They just show up as notifications like anything else.

I’m still playing with the betas and learning what’s new in them. So far, they’re running great and haven’t gotten in the way of anything I do on any of my devices (except for Pokémon Go, but that’s not Apple’s fault). This beta season is shaping up to be much smoother than the last one, and I’m happy to be a guinea pig in exchange for early access to these great new features!

Do any of these changes sound exciting to you? What are you looking forward to when the updates come out in the fall? I’d love to hear your thoughts on Apple’s software and the new features that are coming! Hit me up in the comments or on social media, and we’ll talk all about it.

Thanks for reading my nerdy WWDC overview, and I’ll see you again soon. Have a great week, friends! 

My Sermon on Humanization

I had the privilege of speaking at my church's midweek service this week, and I shared about the importance of treating other people the way Jesus did. Public speaking is not my strength by a long shot. I'm much more comfortable behind a keyboard than behind a pulpit. But I'm grateful for the opportunity to speak into this moment, and if you'd like to take the time to give it a watch, I would be honored.