I once had to take the Meyers-Briggs personality test for a college assignment, and it told me that I am an INFJ: introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging. When I was filling out the questionnaire, I couldn’t get over how ridiculous it all seemed. I thought, “There’s no way answering all of these stupid questions is going to tell me anything about myself that I don’t already know.” It was frustrating.

When I saw the results, I was unsurprised. We went over them as a class, and my professor explained what each of the letters mean. Had I known the options beforehand, I probably could have guessed what I would get. If you’re familiar with the test, you might have already deduced my type just from interacting with me.

Glancing over the initial results didn’t change my conclusion that taking the test had been pointless, but then I started to read some of the analysis. Each result comes with a packet of further information about one’s type, and the more I read, the more convinced I became that Meyers and Briggs were onto something.

In section after section, I saw myself reflected in what I read. The analysis covered topics like how INFJs act in relationships and which careers worked well with my personality. As I read, I felt like I was finally putting words to things I’d experienced all my life but never been able to articulate to anyone. Ever. It was a catharsis.

The part that spoke to me most deeply was about weaknesses. Every personality type is prone to its own set of shortcomings, and reading that section felt like a checklist of every single thing I struggled with or didn’t like about myself.

It was hard to read. It made me feel exposed and uncomfortable, maybe even a little bit guilty. But it also helped me confront some things about myself that I needed to deal with in order to grow, and I think I’m better for it.

I wish I still had that whole packet to flip through now. It’s probably in my attic somewhere. But one statement felt so particular to me—and so tragically comical—that I’ve never forgotten it. I actually posted a picture of it on my Facebook for all to see. Here’s what the sentence said:

Under great stress, INFJs may become obsessed with data they normally would consider irrelevant or overindulge in Sensing activities such as watching TV reruns, overeating, or buying things that have little meaning for them.

If that’s not me, I don’t know what is.

When I’m trying to avoid dealing with something, I can nerd out about basically anything and go down a rabbit hole that lasts for weeks. TV is always a part of my life, but if I’m feeling anxious or down, it can quickly become a means of escape. And back when I had Amazon Prime and disposable income, you better believe I engaged in some serious retail therapy.

You can ask my wife, my parents, my siblings, my best friends, or anyone else who knows me well, and all of them will tell you that this is how I react to stress. It’s honestly a little scary just how accurate that sentence is. Were the people who wrote this spying on me? Or am I just a textbook INFJ?

Regardless, I used this statement as a tool over the years to help me monitor my stress level. When I found myself veering off into one of these stress-induced patterns, I knew that it was time to hit pause and figure out what I was trying to distract myself from. At times, I didn’t even know I was feeling anxious until one of these behaviors resurfaced. But once they did, I knew I was in need of some self-reflection.

I haven’t thought about that test in a long time. Thankfully, I haven’t had to rely on it as much over the past several years. Part of growing up is learning healthy ways of managing one’s mental state, and I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress on that front.

But not long ago, I suddenly realized that one of these old habits had snuck back up on me. I had been watching a lot of TV. And when I say a lot, I mean too much TV. An unhealthy amount of it. Reflecting on that realization, I remembered my Meyers-Briggs test for the first time in years, and I thought to myself, “Wow. Something must be wrong.”

I knew that I was under a good deal of stress, but I didn’t realize the extent to which it was affecting me until I saw the symptom. Only then was I able to fully recognize the emotional turmoil below the surface. And only then was I able to start to actually deal with it.

Thankfully, I’m in a good place now. But I couldn’t have gotten from where I was to where I am if I hadn’t had the self-awareness needed to recognize the problem. In another person, watching that much TV might be perfectly normal. It’s not a sign of distress at all. But for me, it was an unhealthy coping mechanism that I needed to get past. It was a sign pointing to a deeper issue.

The truth is that we’re not always the best at knowing ourselves. Human beings are complicated and mysterious, and sometimes it’s difficult for us to sort out what’s going on even in our own heads. But if we‘re going to be healthy and grow into all that we can be, we’re going to have to learn how to read ourselves well.

This isn’t an advertisement for Meyers-Briggs, by the way. I found it to be an extremely helpful tool, but there are many ways to develop our self-awareness outside of personality tests. Journaling is another amazing aide that I’ve adopted. Plus I’ve found this process much easier when I open up to others as well. Maybe for you it’s therapy or long drives or solo hikes through the woods. Whatever it is, we each need to find ways to be honest with ourselves about what we’re feeling and monitor those emotions as we go.

If you find yourself struggling with self-awareness, I’d encourage you to explore some tools that might help you get started. It’s not easy for any of us, but it is certainly worthwhile. And if there’s any way I can help you along the way, I would be more than happy to. I’m so thankful for the help I’ve received in this area along the way, and I’d love to extend that same help to others.

That’s what I’ve got for you this week. I hope you liked and maybe even found it helpful. Thank you as always for reading, and I’ll see you back here very soon!