I’ve been hanging out a lot on Mastodon lately and having a great time there. (If you haven’t yet, maybe give it a try.) But as I’ve been using the service more and more, I have noticed one particular bad habit creeping back into my life: comparing myself to others. In this case, that means looking at other people’s follower counts.

It’s the most ridiculous thing. I have never spent time worrying about how many followers I have on social media. I’m not a noteworthy person, so my following has always been small. It took me over a decade on Twitter to accumulate a group of 400 people who care about what I post, and who’s to say how many of those accounts are even real? Not me; I didn’t worry about it.

But for some reason, my mindset has been different since getting started on Mastodon. I think it’s because the service is so new to me and to most of the people I know. It feels like a fresh world with infinite possibilities.

In this new world, I expected things to go the way they did on previous social networks: I sign up, I find some people to follow, and then I lurk around mostly keeping quiet. But Mastodon is totally different from what I’m used to. People there actually want to connect and interact. They’re generous with their time, attention, and boosts. (They’re like retweets, but better.)

That sort of engagement—the real kind, not vanity metrics salespeople use to fill ad space—is exhilarating. It makes me happy to connect with like-minded people who are interested the same things I am. It’s a lot of fun!

But our brains are stupid. At least, mine is. And when something makes it happy, my brain starts chanting, “More. More. More.” If I’m not careful, the good thing that was benefitting me can become a crutch that I rely on for my next dopamine hit.

Which leads to the comparisons. I check my follower count every day (or more), and I get a rush when that number goes up. When it doesn’t, I feel bad. Until I look at someone else’s number and realize that mine is higher than theirs. Then I feel good again, at least for a second.

It’s petty, I know. And it makes me feel gross to even admit it, because I’d like to think that I’m more mature than that. But I recognized it in myself recently. I guess this is my way of calling myself out.

The reality is that what brings me joy isn’t seeing a number get higher on my profile. It’s not the notification count on my lock screen, or the number of times someone hits the star button under my latest joke. What actually makes me happy is connecting with people, and I can’t do that if all I’m worried about is whether or not I have more followers than somebody else.

It isn’t a zero-sum game, after all. Someone else’s gain isn’t my loss. So if they’re doing well and connecting with a lot of people, why would I be jealous of that? I should be happy for them, thankful even that they’re enjoying the same platform that I am. When people interact and have a good time on Mastodon, the platform gets a little bit better, and everyone benefits.

I’m not ever going to be famous, not even internet famous. That’s not something I aspire to. But I got caught up in the rush for a bit. I’m thankful I put a stop to it before it became a major problem.

Comparing ourselves to others is not a way to achieve to success or happiness. We’re all different and on different paths; that’s how it’s supposed to be. Better to find contentment with what we have rather than strive for what someone else does.

I’m going to stop comparing myself to others and instead simply enjoy the good things my life has to offer me right now, like connecting with cool people online, regardless of how many of them want to follow me. I invite you to do the same.