Thinking of You

Hey, friends. I know times are hard, and I’m very sorry for that. Seems that every day, the news of what’s happening the world just gets worse. I know it’s taking a toll on many of us. I wish there were more I could do than just sharing this short note.

But really, that’s all any of us can do right now: let each other know that we’re here, we care, and we’re willing to help if there’s anything we can do. That’s all this little blog post is. Just a reminder that I’m out here thinking about you, I’m here if you need me, and I hope the best for you during this difficult time.

We will get through this. There’s no telling how much damage will be done in the meantime or what the world will look like afterwards, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned about life, it’s that it goes on. Not even this virus can stop that.

A lot of people don’t know how to make ends meet right now. Others are working so hard to deal with this crisis that they don’t know how much longer they can go on at this pace. Others are somewhere in between, trying to navigate this new, hopefully temporary normal the best they can. Wherever you find yourself right now, I hope you know that you aren’t alone.

So whether you’re hurting or struggling or tired or bored or anxious or apathetic or still trying to wrap your head around this whole bizarre circumstance, I’m here for you. We’re in this together, and I want you to know that I’m here.

I apologize that this week’s post isn’t the most optimistic. To be truthful, I am still very much hopeful for future, but I also think it’s important to recognize the difficulties people are facing right now. They are real, and they have real consequences. And those real-world effects are breaking my heart today.

I’m thankful for each of you reading this. If you feel like you need to reach out to someone, please know that I’m available. I’ll talk to you soon.

Fun

The saying goes that all work and no play made Jill a dull girl. Like any cliche, I think there’s a nugget of truth to that saying, but the reality of it goes much deeper. If we’re so focused on work and productivity that we neglect the parts of ourselves that require leisure and enjoyment, then dullness is going to be the least of our worries.

I’ve been working really hard lately. I don’t say that begrudgingly at all. The church is in a really pivotal time of transition, construction, and (God willing) growth, and that puts a great deal of demand on the staff. The past couple of months have been a nonstop barrage of deadlines and projects that are finally starting to culminate into something we can show the world. It’s been good, but it’s been a lot.

In the midst of that heavy workload, I’ve found myself seeking outlets for leisure. It started off unintentionally, but once I noticed it, I realized that this search was something I really needed to prioritize. My subconscious was telling me that if I was going to push myself so hard at work, then I needed to up my game when it came to recreation.

That’s manifested itself in several ways, each of which I’m really thankful for. Since the weather’s been nice, Katherine and I have been able to take Winter for walks most days. This isn’t just a fun way to spend time together; it’s also good for us physically. I went for a jog last week, too. (It hurt.) Before bed just about every night, we pull up a game on Apple Arcade and play for a few minutes. Scientifically, it may not be the best way to wind down, but I actually find it relaxing.

I’ve been trying to keep my creative side happy, too. Of course, writing here always brings a sense of fulfillment. And for fun, I’m always coming up with new ideas for things I could make, including this silly video of me playing a video game:

I’ve never done anything like that before, and it pushed me out of my comfort zone, but it was a thrill to create, and I’m happy with the way it turned out.

You might think I’m a nerd for finding these sorts of things fun, and that’s okay. Everyone has their own definition of what fun is. But whatever it is that you enjoy doing recreationally, it’s important that you spend time doing something you that brings you joy—not for work or a side hustle or any other productive reason. Just for yourself.

Maybe you like hiking in the great outdoors. Maybe you like action movies. Maybe you like dancing or acting or axe-throwing or photography or computers or any number of other things. Whatever it is that you find fun, make sure that you take time out of your schedule to relax and enjoy it. It might seem like a waste of time, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

We are hardwired to need recreation. Yes, we have an innate desire to be productive, too. But contributing isn’t enough. We also have to have fun. If we work 24/7 and never take time to enjoy ourselves, we’re going to become burned out. But if we take time for leisure activities, we’ll actually be more prepared to get back to work and do our best when the time comes.

And the harder we work, the harder we need to play. I don’t mean energy-wise. Some people even consider napping a fun hobby. (Not me.) But if you find yourself in particularly stressful or tiresome life situation, as many of us do right now, then you are in an even greater need for a recreational outlet. It sounds counterproductive, but it’s true.

We aren’t our full selves if all we do is work. It’s just not how we’re made. We need fun in order to be the best, healthiest, most fulfilled people we can be—to be who we’re meant to be. Recreation is an important part of a healthy lifestyle, and it’s something I’ve been trying to be more intentional about even as my workload has gotten heavier. I believe it’s made all the difference.

What about you? What role does leisure play in your life? What is the thing that makes you feel relaxed, happy, and light? Have you found it yet? If you haven’t, I’d encourage you to look for it. And if you have, I say lean into it. You need that hobby in your life, so don’t be ashamed to make time for it. I promise you’ll be better for it in the long run.

That’s all for me this week. Thanks for reading, and I’ll talk to you again soon!

Feeling Behind

Do you ever feel like you’re falling behind? I certainly do. To be honest, it happens more often than I’d care to admit, and I’ve been feeling it a lot here lately.

There are healthy ways and unhealthy ways to deal with feeling behind. Right now, as I’m taking on a lot of extra responsibility for a major project at the church, I’m trying to properly cope with these feelings as they come. And that’s something I’ve had to learn to do.

Here are a few things I try to keep in mind when I feel like I’m falling behind.

Don’t blame yourself.

My first inclination when I feel behind is to look for what went wrong. How could I have avoided this? What did I do to put myself in a situation where I feel this way?

But the truth is that we aren’t always at fault. We live in a demanding world. Even the most organized, on-top-of-it people get overwhelmed sometimes. Things come up, priorities have to be managed, and there are only so many hours in a day. The fact that we feel ourselves falling behind doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s our fault.

Sure, there are times when we procrastinate and put ourselves in a bad spot. And in those situations, we can choose to beat ourselves up. Or we can choose to learn from our mistakes and do better next time. I prefer to avoid the blame game and go straight to the productive part of getting myself out of the situation.

Our culture teaches us that our value comes from our work, and so when we fall behind, we tend to feel guilty. But there is no shame in admitting where you are and trying to find the best way forward. Wasting energy on a pity party is counterproductive, so it’s best to just skip that part.

Stressing out won’t help.

Another thing that isn’t going to help you catch up: stressing out. Again, this is a natural response to feeling behind, but it’s an urge we have to fight. Because when our energy is spent on stressing and not on solving, we fall deeper into the trap.

How do we avoid stressing out in stressful situations? That’s easier said than done. But I’ve always found it helpful to make a plan. I write out everything I need to get done and organize it on a timeline. Then I break those big tasks down into subtasks that help me form concrete, actionable steps. And then I get started.

Focus and organization are my antidotes to stress. Yours may be different, but I believe that we all have them at our disposal. We just have to figure out what they are.

I find it helpful to focus on the details. You might be more a big-picture person. Maybe the vision of what you’re doing excites you and gives you the passion you need to avoid stress. Maybe you’ve got a mantra that keeps you centered. Or maybe you just need a warm beverage to help you fight off the nerves.

Whatever it is, find what keeps you out of the stress zone and use it to help you as you try to get caught up.

The only way out is through.

And of course, then there’s the part where you actually solve the problem. This may not be the case for everyone, but I generally find that the hardest part of any project is just starting it. Especially when I’m feeling behind, I dread getting into something because I don’t know how I’m ever going to get out of it.

But I always find that it’s not as bad as I’ve made it out to be in my mind. Once I get past the stress and self-blaming and actually do the thing, I feel so much better because I’m making progress.

The only way to overcome that falling behind feeling is to catch up. The only way out is through. And as much as you may dread that process, it’s the only thing that’s going to make you feel any better.

So when you’re feeling behind and you don’t know what to do… just start. It doesn’t have to be perfect, at least not at first. It doesn’t have to be this gigantic thing you’ve made it in your head. At the end of the day, it’s your job to get done what you’re behind on. So do it. I promise you’ll feel much better once you’ve got the ball rolling.

That’s what I’ve got for you this week. I know these reminders are simplistic, but often it’s the simple things that trip us. That’s how it is for me, anyway. So I’m trying to use these reminders to avoid getting tripped up in the peripheral stuff and focus on the tasks at hand.

If you’ll excuse me, I need to run and get caught up on some things. Maybe you do, too. Now’s your chance, so don’t waste it! Let’s leave that falling behind feeling in the dust—if not forever, at least for now.

Snack Adventures

I’ve always had a weird obsession with junk food. For me, it’s not so much about eating these foods, though I do of course love that part. What I really enjoy, though, is keeping up with what’s new in the junk food/fast food world, trying things out, and finding trends in what all of these companies are doing as they seek new ways to enable our slow but steady self-destruction.

It doesn’t really matter what the category is. Candy bars. Hamburger joints. Ice cream flavors. Soda companies. (Have you seen the number of different Mountain Dew flavors out there?) I try to keep up with them all. And when I hear about something new and interesting, I just have to try it for myself.

I’m not the only person out there who does this as a hobby. In fact, there’s a whole ecosystem of Twitter feeds, blogs, Instagram profiles, and even podcasts dedicated to the latest products, tests, and announcements. People make a living off of reporting on and reviewing junk food products. Dream job much?

I have some all-time favorites, of course. Here are a handful of them:

• When I was in college, I travelled to Indiana one summer for work, and I discovered Mello Yello for the first time. It was just coming back into production after being discontinued for years, and it hadn’t made it to my part of the country yet. The first time I saw the Original Smooth in my local Walmart, I couldn’t contain my excitement; I bought every case they had.

• The Doritos Locos Taco was on my radar for a very long time before I ever tasted it. For at least a year before its national release, I kept up with reports about the stores that were testing it and rumors of when it would finally spread nationwide. I was not disappointed when I finally got my hands on one (and then another, and so on).

• In seminary, I figured out that Trolli sells all of its new products to 7-11 gas stations first. Fortunately, I lived across the street from one, so every time they came out with the latest gummy treat (octopi, sloths, even gummy hands), I knew where to find them. 😋

• Dunkin’ Donuts used to be my second office. I’d set up shop there every morning and work for a couple of hours. I became such good friends with the baristas that they would show me their calendar of upcoming, unannounced flavors and even let me try them early. I once went home with a whole jug of Brownie Batter syrup!

• A couple of years ago, I stopped at a McDonald’s in the middle of nowhere on a trip that I barely remember. What I do remember, though, is that this particular McDonald’s was testing a new menu item: Chicken McGriddles. I had to try it, and it was amazing. The savory chicken and sweet, syrupy pancakes mixed together to make the perfect breakfast sandwich. When I got home, I tried ordering it again with no luck, and so I patiently waited for McDonald’s to do the right thing and share this beautiful invention with the world. They finally did just last month, and I’ve already had three of them. Best. breakfast. ever.

• If you think the most exclusive flavor of Mountain Dew out there is Baja Blast, you would be mistaken. I’ve discovered the hidden gem of the MD line, and it’s called Berry Monsoon. Available exclusively at Sam’s Club cafés, you can’t buy this flavor in cans or bottles, only by the fountain cup. But that just makes Berry Monsoon MD that much more precious.

Back in my bachelor days, I spent a significant amount of time researching and tracking down the latest junk food innovation. It was a really fun waste of time and potential. But when Katherine and I got together, my priorities changed drastically, and I figured that those days were gone.

Until one day when we had a few extra minutes before she had to get back to work from lunch and I awkwardly blurted out, “There’s this new Hershey’s bar I’ve been wanting to try. Mind if we stop at this gas station real quick?” I couldn’t totally read her reaction, but she agreed to stop, so I went with it. We went into the store and after a couple of minutes of searching, I asked the clerk if they had the new candy bar. They didn’t.

At that point, I probably should have given up. Katherine hadn’t been my girlfriend for very long, and I still wasn’t sure that my quirkiness wouldn’t scare her off. But against my better judgment, I turned to her and asked if we could try a different gas station across the street. 🤦🏽‍♂️

I still don’t know if her response came from a place of actual interest or if she was just trying to humor me, but either way, Katherine said yes. We went in search of the candy bar to another store, and we found it. Prize in hand, I took Katherine back to work, and we unwrapped the Hershey’s Gold bar and each had a bite. (It was terrible.)

That was our first snack adventure together, and it turned out to be the first of many. Even though my wife doesn’t totally nerd out about every new product the way I do, we have discovered a mutual interest and a unique way to enjoy time together. I think that’s pretty special.

Nowadays, I don’t spend as much time reading blogs about the newest flavor of Oreo. I don’t taste test every new thing that comes out. I’m trying to take better care of myself (and my wallet), so I eat a lot more salads at home and a lot fewer of whatever Taco Bell has come up with this week. Priorities change. I’ve changed. But that doesn’t mean my hobby has to die.

We still have our snack adventures. I believe we always will. Just this weekend, Katherine and I were invited by her aunt to try out the new Wendy’s breakfast menu. It was great! But what was even greater was getting to enjoy my dumb hobby with someone I love. That beats Berry Monsoon Mountain Dew any day.

When You Hit a Wall

What do you do when you’ve hit a wall? When you’ve tried all you can, and nothing’s working? When it feels like no matter what you do, it still isn’t enough?

We’ve all been there. Whether it’s work, school, relationships, or another area of life, each of us has come to a point where we just don’t see a way forward. And that is a difficult place to be.

So what do we do in these situations? Do we give up? Think of a different approach? Keep trying the same old tactics? It’s not always easy to know what the right step is.

I’ve been reading the book of Acts recently, and I’ve been inspired by the stories of the early church and the many, many obstacles these amazing brothers and sisters they overcame. In the face of resistance, hatred, and even persecution, they persisted in their faith, and they found a way to share the good news of Jesus across the world.

One of those early followers was the apostle Paul. In between starting countless churches and writing a good portion of the New Testament, Paul travelled all around, sharing the gospel with anyone who would listen. He had experienced Christ in a life-altering way, and so he made it his mission to introduce Jesus to as many others as he possibly could.

Paul had a playbook. His typical approach to sharing the gospel in a new town was to worship at the synagogue and tell people about Jesus there. At that time, Jesus-followers were almost all Jewish, Paul included, and so he saw the synagogue as his primary platform for telling people about Christ.

This was met with mixed success. At times, people responded to Paul’s message and became fellow believers. He would develop deep bonds with these new converts and help them start churches out of their homes. Then, when circumstances forced him to, he’d move on to the next city, entrusting the church to carry on the work he’d started there.

Other times, though, Paul didn’t make any headway at the local synagogues. He was even sometimes met with hostility. Acts 13 tells the story of one particularly tense encounter Paul had at the synagogue in Antioch. I’ll let you read it for yourself, but here’s a quick summary:

Paul and his partner Barnabas travel to Antioch to share the gospel there. After first hearing the message, the people seem interested and ask the men to return to the synagogue the following week. But upon their return, Paul and Barnabas are met with resistance and insults that inhibit them from preaching any further.

In other words, they hit a wall. They had been trying to share the gospel with this group of people and seemed to be making progress, but all of a sudden, they found themselves facing a barrier that they could not overcome.

What was Paul to do? He knew that he had been called by God to share the message of Christ’s love with others. He’d even felt led to the city of Antioch. And yet, nothing was happening.

That’s when he decided to regroup. In Acts 13.46, Paul says to the people at the synagogue, “It was necessary that the word of God be spoken first to you. Since you thrust it aside and judge yourselves unworthy of eternal life, behold, we are turning to the Gentiles.”

The word “Gentile” simply means anyone who is not Jewish. Basically, Paul told the people who rejected his message that if they didn’t want it, he would take it elsewhere to those who would be willing to receive it. And in turn, he began bringing the good news to people who had never heard it before, people who weren’t even considered potential converts up to this point.

I imagine that most people reading this fall into the Gentile category. And if you’re a Gentile believer reading this (like me), then you have transformational moments like this one from early church history to thank for your hearing the message. This is one of the earliest instances of the church embracing Gentiles, and I for one am so thankful for that!

When Paul realized that he had hit a wall, what did he do? Well, he didn’t give up. Instead, he used this opposition as an opportunity to discern what God had for him next. And in doing so, he began taking the gospel to a whole new group of people and welcoming them into the family of God. I think that’s pretty amazing.

Throughout the book of Acts, we see the early Christians come up against resistance. But they didn’t get upset. They didn’t give up. And they didn’t blame God (or the devil) for the positions they found themselves in. Instead, they chose to use these moments to reevaluate and ask God what they should do next. Often that was something totally unexpected and new.

What if we took the same approach? Where would we be if we chose to see opposition not as a curse, but as an opportunity for discernment? How different would our lives looks if we searched for wisdom when we hit a wall rather than giving up? It seemed to work pretty well for Paul; maybe we should do it, too.

I’m trying to see things that way now, looking for God’s hand even in the more difficult aspects of life. I don’t believe that God wants us to suffer, but I do believe that God uses those times to form us into who we’re supposed to be and lead us to where we’re supposed to go. But that can only happen if we’re looking for direction in the midst of opposition.

How about you? Have you ever had a similar experience when you felt like you were up against a wall? What do you think of this idea of using resistance as an opportunity for discernment? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences below.

Thanks for taking the time to read this blog post. I hope that you found it helpful, or maybe even that it made you think a little differently. I’ll talk to you again soon!