Finding God's Will

Every Christian wants to follow God’s will, right? After wasting a lot of time trying to direct our lives on our own, we finally break down and come to the conclusion that we’re not fit to be in charge of our own destinies. Someone else has to do it. And there’s only one person qualified for the job: God.

This is a great place to be. Because once we’ve given up the prideful idea that we should be the ones calling the shots, we’re ready to finally and completely give in to God’s good, acceptable, and perfect will for us. There’s only one problem, though: We don’t always know exactly what God’s will is.

So what do you do when you’re ready to follow God’s plan for your life but you don’t know where to start? Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way. Maybe you’ll find them helpful, too.

Wanting to follow God’s will is the first step, and it’s a big one.

The first thing I tell anyone when they express concern over following God’s will is this: If you’re worrying about whether or not you’re following God’s will, you’re already on the right path. Believe it or not, simply wanting to do things God’s way is a big step, even for believers. Because as much as we talk about trusting the Lord and putting his will before our own ambitions, putting that into practice is not easy.

If you’ve humbled yourself before God, admitted that you’re not fit to run your own life, and chosen his path over your own idea for the way things should be, then you’re setting yourself up for success. You’re putting God first, and he’s going to honor that in time. Not only is he going to guide you, but he’s going to guide you to a life far better than anything you could have imagined on your own. Will it look the way you expected? No. But it’ll be so much better because you’ll be exactly where you’re supposed to be: in the center of God’s will.

God’s will for you starts with the short-term.

Far too often, we think that following God’s will means figuring out the big picture: career, family, vocation, and the like. And those things are very important. But they’re not where we begin. In order to understand and follow God’s will in those big things, we have to start small.

Beginning is as simple as asking God the question, “What are you calling me to do right now?” and then doing it. He uses different means to convict us (the Holy Spirit, his word, other people, and more), but if we earnestly ask him to speak to us, he will in some form. Maybe it’s adjusting your schedule to spend more time with him. Maybe it’s treating your loved ones better. Maybe it’s rethinking your priorities and putting first what God tells us to. Whatever it is, there’s always something that God is calling us to do, and if we’ll simply stop and listen, we’ll hear it.

The truth is that following God’s will in these everyday things has a far more lasting impact on our lives than simply asking for his advice on occasion when we make big decisions. Because it’s our small, daily habits that form us into who we are. And as we learn to hear and follow God’s voice in the seemingly small things on a day-by-day basis, we find that living in tune with his will becomes a part of our very selves. It’s natural.

Mind you, we always have to be intentional about choosing God’s will over our own. But over time, like any spiritual practice, it becomes less of a struggle as we allow God to shape us into who he created for us to be. And once we’ve mastered this daily practice, we’re much more prepared to make the big decisions God’s way.

Your talents and passions are hints of God’s will for you.

When it comes to those big decisions, there’s no clear-cut, one-size-fits-all way of knowing exactly what God wants us to do. It’s different for each person. But there are some things that we can do to make understanding God’s will in the midst of those decisions easier.

Getting into the habit of listening for God’s will and following it is a good start, but what then? My suggestion is to evaluate a couple of things. First of all, what gifts has God given you? What is it that you’re good at and that makes you feel the most alive? These natural talents aren’t there simply for our enjoyment or personal gain. God gives them to us so that we can use them for his purposes. They’re a part of his calling on our lives.

Which leads to the next thing to consider: How can I use my gifts to serve others? My favorite definition of vocation is “the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” Because when you get down to it, that’s what we’re each called to do. We’re supposed to love others and serve God with everything we have. And in the process, we get to experience a sense of fulfillment and purpose that we can’t get anywhere else. What could possibly be better than that?

That’s why I think the best way to begin discerning God’s big-picture will for your life is to simply start serving God and others with the gifts he’s given you. God can use anyone and any gift for his glory, whether it’s music, math, muscles, or something else. And as you serve, you’ll learn what works for you and what doesn’t. Maybe you start off thinking you’ll enjoy one thing but soon find out that it isn’t for you. That’s alright; God understands, and he appreciates the effort. Try something else until you find your niche. Your place. Your calling.

At the end of the day, it comes down to this: God blesses those who earnestly seek him. Only through a daily relationship with him and a practice of serving others in his name will you be able to discern his perfect will for you. It’s a lot of work, but it’s more than worth it. Because I can tell you from personal experience that there is nothing better than living for God. There’s no better place to be than right where he wants you. He knows what’s best for us, and he wants what’s best for us if we’ll only follow him.

So if you want fulfillment, if you want peace, if you want to know that you’re doing exactly what you were made to do, follow him. In the small things and the big things, follow him. Even when it’s scary and doesn’t make a lot of sense, follow him. Even if it isn’t how you pictured your life going, follow him. Because he loves you, and he’ll never lead you astray. Follow him.

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You Aren't In Charge of Your Life

When I came up with the title of this article, I nearly changed it because I thought it might be too off-putting. I don’t want it to be misinterpreted. This isn’t some thinkpiece claiming that no one is responsible for their actions because it’s all someone else’s fault. And it isn’t a defeatist manifesto that’s going to tell you that our lives are pre-determined, so there’s no point in trying to change them. No, this article is something else. But to be honest, I’m still not sure that it’s going to be any less off-putting.

My central argument this week is simply this: We are not qualified to be in charge of our own lives.

As a recovering control freak myself, I can understand why some people may not like a statement like that. It’s scary, frustrating, and maybe even downright offensive at first. But it’s true, and if you stick with me, I hope you’ll see why.

We all like to think we’re in control. Like we’re the masters of our own destiny. Like we can change things if we want to. Growing up, we’re told, “You can be anything you want to be!” And we choose to believe it. Because at the end of the day, we don’t want anyone or anything else dictating what we do. We want to be our own bosses.

And this sort of attitude is praised in our culture. We idolize rugged, independent types who pave their own paths. We love hearing success stories of entrepreneurs who do whatever it takes to work for themselves. We buy into the American dream that anyone can choose to be anything if they’ll just put their minds to it and work hard. But what if this quest for independence and control is actually misguided?

After all, for every success story, there are at least a dozen that start the same way but end in failure. The truth is that our own judgment isn’t always the best, and when we try too hard to maintain control, we often get ourselves into some bad situations. Even the smartest among us can become blinded by passion to achieve a goal and end up losing everything in the pursuit.

We’re pretty good at declaring what we want, but we’re not so good at discerning whether or not those things are actually good for us. We set our sights on our desires and chase after them with little regard for our long-term wellbeing or the good of those around us. In all honesty, our success rate at choosing the things that are best for us is pretty low.

I’m sorry if this sounds pessimistic. I’m not trying to be. It’s just a reality of our fallen state. Our minds are wonderful gifts from God, but they’re also imperfect. And I think that if we each reflect on our own experiences with trying to make big life decisions on our own, we can agree that we don’t always make the best choices.

Which is why we’re not supposed to be making these sorts of decisions ourselves. We were never made to be in charge of our own lives because we aren’t qualified to be. We’re imperfect, and we make imperfect decisions that put is in bad spots and hurt those around us. Not all of the time, mind you, but enough of the time that we shouldn’t be the ones calling the shots.

The truth is that there’s only one person qualified to be in charge of our lives, and that’s God. He has a 100% success rate when it comes to making the right decisions. He sees the big picture. And he knows exactly what’s right for us even when we can’t see it. He alone has the right to set the path for our lives.

And if we recognize this, why wouldn’t we want to put God in charge? What could possibly hold us back from following his will for us other than our own pride? In reality, that’s the biggest thing standing between us and the perfect plan God has for us. We don’t like to give up control. But once we’re willing to recognize our own inadequacy and humble ourselves, we come to the conclusion that submitting to God’s will is the best thing we could do. Because he has the best in mind for us, even if it isn’t necessarily what we expect.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t encourage people to pursue their dreams or tell kids that they can be anything they put their minds to. We should. But we have to do so within the context of God’s will. Because left to our own devices, we get distracted and choose to chase after things that aren’t right for us. Things that aren’t good for us. Things that are outside of God’s plan for us. And that’s when we really get into trouble.

So let’s do ourselves a favor and just admit that we don’t need to be in charge. When we give control over to God, we’re taking the first step towards the wonderful life that he has in store for us. Of course, there’s a lot more to it than that. Once you’re ready to follow God’s will, you have to actually figure out what that is, and we’ll get into that next week. But if you find yourself ready to give up on blazing your own path and follow God’s, then congratulations! You’re well on your way.

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Special note: Next week, I'll be debuting an opportunity for you, my readers, to support this blog financially with a small monthly pledge. If you enjoy reading these posts each week and feel that they add value to your life, I hope you'll consider supporting my writing in this new way. Plus, you'll get special rewards if you decide to sign up! If you'd like a preview of what to expect, you can see a demo here. I appreciate your consideration, and as always, thank you for reading, sharing, and offering feedback week after week. It means the world to me. I'll see you next week.

Wedding Website

Hey, friends! I'm sorry for breaking my regular posting schedule. I know you're not used to hearing from me on a Monday. I just wanted to let you know that Katherine and I are launching our wedding website, itsadundeel.com, today! That's where we'll be posting updates and details as we plan our wedding, so if you're interested in keeping up with all of that, be sure to check it out.

That's all for today. I'll see you back here tomorrow for a regularly-scheduled blog post!

I'm Engaged!

Hey, friends! I wasn't able to write up a full article this week because I've been a little busy with a side project: planning a proposal! I put together an Easter egg hunt for my and Katherine's families on Sunday, and at the end, I asked her to marry me. She said yes!

You read that right. We're getting married! I'll put a few pictures from the proposal below, and I'll be sure to keep you posted throughout this entire process. This is something I've been dreaming about my whole life, and now that it's all happening, I couldn't be more excited!

Be on the lookout for more updates from me and Katherine in the near future, and be sure to check back here next week for a regular blog post. Have a great week, friends!

The Things that Don't Go Away

Last week, we talked about impermanence, the fact that nothing in this world remains the same over time. And it’s true that nothing we see or feel or create will last forever. But I hope I didn’t oversell impermanence to you, because there actually is at least one thing that will last forever: us.

We aren’t completely immune to the effects of change. After all, our bodies grow and develop over time, and our personalities change as well. But there is something core to each of us that remains throughout all of the growing, changing, and developing we go through. In my faith tradition, we call it the human soul. There are other words for it: true self, identity, essence.

Regardless of what you call it, it’s undeniable that there is something inside each of us that makes us who we are and does not change. That’s why you don’t call someone by a different name just because they grow a few inches or suddenly decide to change hobbies. That something is permanent, eternal endless. And it can be affected in profound ways by certain things. I thought that this week, we might talk about a few of them.

One of the things that sticks with us is the lessons we learn along the way. Whether it be through personal experience, study, passed-down wisdom, or observing others, we each pick up on certain truths as we go through life. These lessons shape us into who we are and change the way we interact with the world and with others. Sometimes, we learn a lesson that completely alters the trajectory of our lives. Other times, we learn tiny lessons that have more subtle, but nonetheless real, impacts. Regardless, these lessons are a part of who we are, and they go with us as we grow and change, and even when we die.

Another thing that sticks with us is grace, both the grace shown to us by others and the grace we ourselves choose to show. When someone gives us a gift or forgives us for something when we don’t deserve it, it shows us how deeply good humanity can be. And when we do the same for others, we share in that goodness in a powerful way. Grace makes us into more grateful, compassionate, empathetic people. In a word, it makes us better. And in that way, it has a permanent effect.

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention what I consider to be the greatest act of grace in all of the history: the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Jesus’ grace towards me has changed the way I live my life now as well as my eternal trajectory, and this one act has done so for millions of others, too. If you ever wonder what grace is or what it can do, Jesus is the perfect example to look to, and we would all do well to live into that grace and practice it in the way that he did.

Finally, love is the thing we do that has the most lasting impact of all. Loving others and being loved by them changes us at a fundamental level. Feeling loved by family, friends, and community allows us to feel secure and to be our truest selves. And loving others teaches us to sacrifice and give of ourselves in order to improve the lives of others. Love is the most wonderful and powerful thing that we humans can do, and when we choose to love, we are making an investment in people that will last forever.

So if you were a little discouraged by my explanation of impermanence last week, take heart. You do have an opportunity to do something that lasts forever, just not in the ways you might usually think. By sharing lessons, grace, and love with others, you can impact and form them in ways that will last far longer than anything you could ever earn or make. Because these things last an eternity, and what could be more meaningful than that?