Livid

It was 7:30 pm on a Wednesday night. I was on my way back to Waco from my grandfather’s funeral that afternoon. I had spent five hours in the car that morning driving to Arkansas, and I had left at 4:30 pm so that I could make the five-hour trek back to Waco in time to get to bed by 10:00. Everything was going according to plan, until I saw brake lights up ahead. Lots and lots of brake lights. And that’s when I knew that I was not going to make it home at a decent time.

I couldn’t tell how far ahead the traffic jam started. It had to be at least a mile, and there were cars piling up behind me for at least two miles back. I had no idea what was going on or how long I was going to be stuck there. So I put my car in park and waited. And waited. And waited. I sat in the same spot for nearly two hours before traffic finally let up so that I could continue along my journey. And by the time my car finally started moving again, I was so angry I could stand it. I was livid.

Now I think I have a pretty basic understanding of how traffic works. As long as everyone stays in their lane and follows the road signs, things tend to go pretty smoothly. Sometimes traffic has to slow down because of lane closures and construction, but I can handle that. I don’t mind going a little bit more slowly through construction zones because I can understand that. What I do mind, however, is not moving. Just sitting there, on the road, in my car, with nothing to do, when I could be at home doing something much more productive. That bothers me quite a bit.

Another thing that bothers me about traffic is not knowing why. Why aren’t the cars moving? I didn’t see any signs about construction work. I wasn’t near any big cities. It wasn’t a major travel holiday or even rush hour. So I couldn’t understand why I was forced to sit there on I–30 for two hours when I could have been making my way home after a long, exhausting day. And not knowing the answer to the “why” question—or having any way of getting an answer to that question—frustrated me to the point that I became pretty upset.

When traffic finally let up, I saw the cars ahead of me move. Except for the truck right in front of me. It didn’t budge. I saw cars moving ahead like nothing had happened, and yet here was this truck directly in front of me doing nothing. My first instinct was to get angry with the person in front of me. But then I realized that he or she had probably just fallen asleep while sitting still on the road for two hours, and I had to admit that I had considered taking a nap myself had I not been distracted by the episode of Parks and Recreation I watched. So instead of seeing the person in front of me as an antagonistic obstacle standing between me and my destination, I saw him or her as a relatable comrade in this situation who was probably just as frustrated as I was and who probably just wanted to get home. I gave my steering wheel a quick push to honk in the most non-menacing a way I could. The person in front of me awoke, and we all drove off as if the two-hour-long traffic jam had never happened.

As I drove forward, I saw police lights on the side of the road. I didn’t get a good look as I was passing by, but it looked like there had been some kind of car wreck a mile or so ahead of where I had been stopped for two hours, and that was what had caused the holdup. I realized that while I was sitting safely in my car fuming over losing a couple of hours of my life, someone else could have been in real danger of losing much more than that. Their health. Maybe even their life. Or for others, maybe a loved one. And I realized that my fury over being stuck on the road for a couple of hours was probably unnecessary. I said a prayer for the people involved in the wreck, and I made it home safely, although a little later than I had hoped I would.

There are things in this world that make us angry. We all have pet peeves. And I’m sure most of us get frustrated when we get stuck in traffic. But the truth is that getting stuck in traffic, like most of the things we tend to get angry about, isn’t really that big of a deal. There are much worse things that could happen, and there are people out there right now dealing with those things. So the next time I’m feeling livid, I’m going to do my best to look outside myself and see things from another person’s point of view. I may not be able to change my situation, but at least I can find something fun to distract myself, join in with the others who are stuck in the same spot, and laugh it off until it’s all over.

Progress

This has been a time of progress for me in several areas of my life. I finished my first semester of seminary, and I’m now progressing from basic Intro courses to more difficult ones. I was recently promoted at work from a Ministry Apprentice to a Ministry Associate. I’ve been seeing some improvements in my health as a result of changes I made in the latter part of last year. And I’m getting involved with some awesome new projects that are challenging me creatively and spiritually. That seems like a great deal of progress to me, and I’m very pleased with it.

However, progress can be complicated. It can be really exciting, but it comes with responsibilities and pressures that can sometimes be intimidating. Change in any form can be scary, and even though progress is by definition a positive kind of change, that doesn’t take away the frightening edge it sometimes has. So while I’m really pleased with the progress I’m making in my life, it’s also got its downsides. Here are a few things I try to keep in mind when I’m facing progress and all that it entails.

Progress is a good thing.

As scary as change can be, progress is always good. It’s a step forward, a step in the right direction. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you’re progressing or just changing for the sake of change, but if you’re changing for the better, that’s progress, and it’s worth it even if it is a little unnerving. I know that every step I take in school is one step closer to graduating and having to face the real world. It’s also a step towards increasingly more difficult classes. And while those things are mysterious and intimidating, they’re also wonderful. The reason I came to school was to get an education that I could use in ministry. Every step brings me a little bit closer to that. And that’s a very good thing.

You can handle it.

Progress usually comes with new responsibilities. For example, being promoted at work means that I’m expected to perform on a higher level. It just comes with the territory. But that isn’t a bad thing. What’s great about progress is that it’s a step-by-step process. You spend time working on something until you master it, and then you’re ready to take the next step. As long as the progress you’re making is in the right amount and at the right time, you don’t have anything to worry about. You can handle it. Don’t let fear of more responsibility hold you back from taking that next step.

It’s a big deal, but keep it in perspective.

Progress is something to celebrate. It’s something to be proud of. There’s nothing wrong with sharing it. But it’s also not the only thing that matters. It’s important to recognize and celebrate steps forward in our lives and in the lives of our loved ones, but we have to remember that each step is just that: a step. It’s not the end goal. It’s not the only thing that matters. And it’s not the end of the world if taking the next step takes a while. Progress is great, but it’s not the only thing that matters. We have to keep it in perspective.

Don’t get ahead of yourself.

So you’ve made some progress. You’ve taken the next step. That’s great! Enjoy it. Cherish it. Use it as an opportunity to grow and challenge yourself. But don’t get ahead of yourself. This is something I really struggle with. When I check something off my to-do list, I immediately look ahead to what’s next. It’s something I’m working on. If we’re constantly looking too far ahead to the next thing, we won’t have time to appreciate what we have right now. We won’t be able to enjoy our accomplishments because we already feel like we’re behind on the next big thing. That’s not the way it should be. So enjoy the progress you’ve made, and don’t get ahead of yourself.

That’s what I’ve been focusing on lately as I’m going through this phase of taking the next steps in my life. Hopefully something in here has been helpful to you as you’re progressing or trying to work towards progress in some area of your life. I hope you’re all doing well! Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you next week.

When Things Get Weird

Last week, I wrote a blog post called Back to Normal, because I thought that was where I was heading when I came back to Waco from Christmas break. But it seems that I was wrong, at least at first. Because my first week back hasn’t felt very normal at all. In fact, it’s felt very odd, maybe even a little bit strange. And that can be unsettling.

As most of you probably already know, I’m a creature of habit. I thrive when I’m on a consistent schedule. I love to plan out my day and then follow that plan precisely. But unfortunately, that’s not always how things go. Sometimes people you make plans with end up being late. Sometimes you want to go for a run at the gym, but there are a ton of people there still clinging to their New Year’s Resolutions to get fit, so you can’t. Sometimes you want to go to sleep, but your fan broke and you can’t sleep without it, so you just sort of lie there. And you feel weird, and a little bit disappointed. But then you remind yourself that it’s going to be OK.

Many of you may not understand this, but for me, when things get weird, I tend to feel insecure. I like feeling like I have at least some sort of control over the situation I’m in. That’s why I like to schedule out my days. And when I feel like I don’t have control over my situation, my attitude starts to go downhill. I get frustrated and sometimes even scared. And even when things turn out for the best, I’m still often disappointed by the fact that things didn’t go the way I planned. It’s silly, I know, but it’s my default way of reacting when weird stuff happens.

But this past week has given me opportunities to react differently, and I’ve tried to take advantage of them. Because most of the time, when things don’t go as planned, it’s not the end of the world. It can often be a good thing, but I can’t see that until I let go of my desire to control the situation. So that’s what I’ve been trying to do this past week when things got weird, and I think I’ve had a modest amount of success.

I’m trying to learn to just go with it. To be flexible. I think life would be a lot easier if we weren’t so hung up on what we want that we were able to just let things be. The truth is that I can’t control everything. In reality, I have very little control over anything, which is why I tend to get upset when my false feeling of control is undermined. But lack of control doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, I’m not qualified to have control over much, and it’s pretty arrogant of me to think that I am. When things don’t go the way I planned, it’s an opportunity for me to be humbly reminded that I don’t always know what’s best.

Because things have a tendency to work themselves out. And often it’s the days that don’t go as planned that turn out to be the best days. So when things get weird, I’m going to embrace it and see what happens. Who knows? It might turn out to be better than I ever could have planned.

Back to Normal

My Christmas break is officially over. Over the break, I spent two and a half weeks back home with my family, and it was glorious. I got to see a ton of people that I hadn’t spent time with since I moved. I got to hang out with my family a lot and share some really special moments with them. And I took some time to be super-lazy and watch a ridiculous amount of Netflix. Sounds like the perfect break, right? Well, it was, and I loved every second of it.

But all good things must come to an end. Last Saturday, I loaded up my car and made the trek back to Waco, Texas. Don’t get me wrong. I love Waco. I love my apartment, my school, my job, and my friends here. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad about leaving my family and my wonderful break behind as I return to the real world. I loved my time at home, and I didn’t want it to be over. It’s very strange transitioning from living in a house full of the sounds of a laughing toddler to a quiet apartment. But life must go on, so here I am in Waco, preparing to get back into my regular routine. It’s time to get back to normal.

But “back to normal” doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The truth is that I thrive when I’m on a regular schedule. Breaks confuse me because they throw my internal clock off, and my days lose their regular structure. So if nothing else, I’m at least looking forward to having that structure back now that school is starting again. The regular schedule is good for me. It keeps me efficient, and I always know exactly what I need to be doing. So I’m definitely looking forward to that.

Another great thing about getting back to normal is going back to work. I love my job, my co-workers, and the work that we do. It’s a great place to be, and I get a great sense of fulfillment out of it. Plus it just feels good to work hard to earn money. It’s something that I really enjoy, and I’m looking forward to getting back to that.

Also, “back to normal” means back to school. And in case you guys haven’t noticed, I absolutely love seminary. I love the professors, I love my classmates, and I love learning about God and his word. I’ve never been more excited to learn than I am right now, and it feels good. I’m definitely ready to get back in class.

So while I’ve loved being home and will definitely miss it, I’m also looking forward to getting back to normal. Because normal is actually really special and meaningful. I’m so thankful for my “normal” life in Waco, because it’s anything but mundane. Here’s to getting back to normal, and to a wonderful new semester.

New Year's Resolutions: An Update

Well, 2014 is coming to a close, and it’s been a great year! I graduated from Hendrix in May, worked at Cavanaugh Church this summer, and moved to Waco, TX, in August to attend Truett Seminary. There’s been a lot going on, but it’s all been good stuff, and I couldn’t be more thankful for the way this year turned out.

I thought that since 2014 is nearly over, now would be a good time to look back on the resolutions I made a year ago and see where I ended up on each of them as I start thinking through what I want to accomplish next year. I basically had four major resolutions for 2014, along with some smaller ones, and I feel like I did pretty well on most of them. So here’s an update on my 2014 New Year’s Resolutions and how I think they went this year.

1. Write every day.

My first major resolution was to write every day. I didn’t know exactly what I would write each day, but I knew that I wanted to write something, and I did. Sometimes it was really short, and sometimes I would spend an hour or more on one writing project in a day. But I wrote something every day, and I feel like it was really good for me as a creative outlet.

For next year, I want to keep writing every day, but I want to make it even more meaningful. I’m not exactly sure how that’s going to look yet, though. I may set aside a certain block of time each day just for creative writing, or I may set a goal of writing one big creative work this year (like a book or a movie). I’m not quite sure yet. But I know I want to take this goal further in 2015, because I think it’s been really good for me.

2. Bible journaling and verses of the day.

This was actually my most successful New Year’s Resolution, I think. I was able to stick to my Bible reading plan every day, reflect on what I read, and share a verse on social media. It was great. It taught me how to appreciate parts of the Bible that I usually just gloss over, and it taught me how to share God’s word in a way that’s meaningful to me and hopefully to others, as well. I’m really glad I decided to go through with this goal in 2014.

However, I think I’m going to change this one up in 2015 as well. While I enjoyed sharing a verse online every day, I started to feel like it may have been a bit of overkill towards the end. So I think that instead of doing a verse every day next year, I’ll just share verses and thoughts that mean a lot to me as they come up organically.

I’m also changing up how I journal next year. I’m going to keep doing my daily Bible reading out of the Old and New Testaments, but instead of journalling on two big passages every day, I’m going to focus my journalling time on more intense studies of individual books of the Bible. I want to really dig deep into specific parts of Scripture, letting them saturate, and maybe even tying in outside materials like commentaries and other people’s Bible studies. So that’s what I’m going to focus my Bible journalling on for next year, and it’ll probably turn into some fun blog posts as well.

3. 1 Second Everyday

I tried to do 1SE this year, but I just didn’t find it to be meaningful. It was distracting me from enjoying what I was doing when I was with family and friends, and I was constantly thinking, “OK, what is my 1SE going to be today?” That’s not meaningful or organic. It’s just distracting and stressful. Also, the 1SE just has a lot of bugs and doesn’t do well at keeping up with the newest operating system or hardware releases. So I abandoned this goal during the year, and I think it was the right decision for me. 1SE is a great idea that has been a wonderful experience for a lot of people, but it’s just not for me at this point in my life. However, I do want to incorporate video creation back into my routine again. I’m not sure what that’s going to look like yet, but you’ll be the first to know when I figure it out!

4. Keeping a regular blog schedule.

For those of you who read this blog regularly, you probably know that I’ve been posting articles weekly all year. I was able to fulfill my goal of publishing a personal blog post every Tuesday of 2014, and I’m super-proud of that! I’m going to continue my weekly blog posts on Tuesdays in 2015, and I hope you guys will stick around to read them.

You may have also noticed that my Stuff Devon Likes posts haven’t been as consistent lately. I tried to do one every Saturday this year, but to be honest, I got kind of burned out on them. I ran out of interesting things to write about, and when I had something interesting to write about, I never felt like I gave myself enough time to fully think it through. So I’ve decided to turn Stuff Devon Likes into more an organic, sporadic series of blog posts rather than a weekly one. I think this will allow me to choose things that I’m passionate about and spend more time on them, which will ultimately result in better blog posts.

5. Other goals.

Thoughout the year, I started working on some other goals that weren’t New Year’s Resolutions but were important to me, and they’ll become New Year’s Resolutions this year. The biggest new goal was to improve my health. Since I graduated college, I’ve started eating healthier, exercising regularly, and sleeping more. It’s been great. I feel better than I have in years, and I’m much happier with the way I look. But there is still a lot of room for improvement in that area, and I’m working on some concrete goals for my health in 2014.

I’ve also been reviewing my Spanish and doing some brain training through apps on my phone (Duolingo and Elevate). These have been great ways to work areas of my brain that aren’t always used to their capacity in school, and I think it’s been a good way to keep my mind sharp. It also adds some diversity among the reading, papers, and tests that I’m always doing for school. I’m very happy with the way those goals are going, and I’m going to keep doing them.

My personal journaling has kind of taken a backseat lately. With my focus on fitness and sleep (as well as my time commitments with school and work), it’s been hard to make time to sit down each day and really think through the events of the day and the feelings I experienced. I want to get back to that, because I think it’s really good for me. So maybe one of my resolutions for next year will be to set aside a specific time each night before bed to do some intense journaling. I’ll let you guys know how that goes!

So there you have it. That’s an update on how my New Year’s Resolutions went in 2014 and where I plan in taking them in 2015. I know this post went a little long, but if you took the time to read it, I really appreciate it. I’d love to hear how your resolutions went this year and what you plan on doing in the coming year! You can contact me on social media or though my contact page, and I’d be happy to chat with you. As usual, thank you guys for reading. I hope you have a safe, happy new year, and I can’t wait to share 2015 with you!