Jesus and the Samaritan Woman: A Case Study in Humanization

I don’t have a big, long post for you this week. I’d just like to finish up my mini-series on humanization with a counterexample to the one we started with. A little while ago, we looked at dehumanization in the life of Jacob and its disastrous effects on his family. Now, let’s look at the ultimate example of someone who knows how to treat people properly. Let’s look at Jesus.

The story of Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman (also known as the woman at the well) in John 4 is one of the most well-known stories in all of scripture. It’s beloved, and for good reason. What at first glance might seem like an everyday conversation between two strangers at a well is actually a profound, world-changing revelation by Jesus of God’s intentions for the world and his expectations for us.

It truly is a case study in humanization. In this single story, we see Jesus practice all of the principles we’ve discussed the past few weeks and others, all of which indicate that Jesus really was treating his conversation partner as a fellow human being in the fullest sense.

We see him practice equality. It’s hard for us to understand the racial and ethnic tensions of Jesus’ day, but put simply, the Jews and the Samaritans did not get along. Jewish people weren’t supposed to have anything to do with Samaritans because they were considered ethnically unclean, being the mixed descendants of Jewish and Gentilite ancestors. The fact that Jesus would even travel through the area, much less actually converse and share water with one of the locals, is a major break with social norms and a major blow to the rampant racial prejudice of his day.

But he didn’t stop there. In her shocked response to Jesus’ decision to talk to her, his conversation partner refers to herself a Samaritan woman, and both of those words are significant. Just as Jews didn’t converse with Samaritans, so men didn’t speak to women as equals, either, if at all. If word had gotten out that Jesus was spending time with a woman at a well, it would have been scandalous. But he didn’t care. He not only spoke to her; he spoke to her as an equal.

Just by being where he was and speaking with the person he spoke to, Jesus was carrying out a revolutionary act of equality. He broke down human-made barriers that kept people excluded, devalued, and oppressed. He let the Samaritan woman—and all of us—know that he regarded her as a fellow human being, equal in value with any other. That’s humanization.

Jesus also made room for her agency. He treated her like a fellow subject rather than an object. He didn’t boss her around, but rather invited her into an interaction with him. He didn’t silence her, but rather left room for her to speak and to express herself, including her frustrations with the ways she’d been treated. He didn’t condemn her (though some modern readers might try if given the chance), but rather showed her compassion just as she was, inviting her to come to know him for who he was.

In his conversation with the Samaritan woman, Jesus recognized something that we all too often forget: She was a person created by God in his image for a purpose and with a free will. He knew he couldn’t coerce her into seeing him as her messiah. He knew he couldn’t establish a relationship with her based on righteous indignation. He simply allowed her to fully be herself, which opened up the door for her to feel fully known by him and to come to fully know him, too. That’s the basis for true reconciliation.

And finally, he practiced affirmation towards her. Before she knew anything else, this woman knew that Jesus was for her. He treated her with respect. He listened to her. And he expressed his desire to see the best for her come about, not only by breaking down the ethnic, religious, and social barriers that held her back, but by freeing her from her own insecurities and giving her abundant, never-ending life. Jesus was for her.

As we read on, we find out this interaction turned out pretty well for everyone involved. The woman came to know Jesus as her savior, and she even went home and told her community about her conversation with him. As a result, they met Jesus and believed in him as well. This is the first instance of Gentiles coming to know Christ in the gospel of John, and it happened as a result of Jesus’ humanizing conversation with the woman at the well.

We people of faith know that Jesus is meant to be our example in all things, and I can’t imagine a better example of how to humanize others than he gives us here. Jesus knew how to make every person he came into contact with feel recognized, heard, and known, and he did so by treating each and every person like a person. We are called to do the same. I believe that through studying the examples that Jesus gives us, seeking to emulate him, and allowing him to transform our hearts, we can come to practice humanization in all of our interactions as well.

Thanks for reading this little series, friends. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you found it helfpul. I know I have. Let’s follow Jesus’ example and go treat people like people today, tomorrow, and every day.

Affirmation

Some of us may be better at hiding it than others, but we all need a pick-me-up from time to time. An encouraging word. A smile from a stranger. Maybe just someone to tell you that everything’s OK. In a word, we all need support. It’s a basic human necessity. In fact, I would argue that it’s something every person deserves, and it’s the last aspect of humanization we’re going to talk about in this little series: affirmation.

To affirm someone means at its core to be for them. To be on their side. To support them and build them up so that they can be all that they’re capable of. This manifests itself in different ways.

Affirmation means affirming who a person is—their identity. People need to know that they’re loved, cared for, and enough just the way they are. Our world is plagued by forces that leave us ridiculed with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. But we can overcome those feelings by reminding each other of our innate worth as human beings and of the fact that we are each loved more than we could ever know.

It also means affirming their journey towards fulfillment. We each have our own path, and these paths take twists and turns that we’d never expect. But the best thing we can do for each other as we try to navigate life is find ways to encourage one another and help each other find what we’re looking for. Maybe it’s as simple as telling someone you believe in them, or going so far as to make a personal sacrifice to help someone else get ahead. It looks different for different people, but we all have opportunities to affirm others as they seek their ultimate goal.

I think it’s worth noting that affirming someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with everything they do. Many of us know what it’s like to support a person while not being able to condone their actions. A couple of things to keep in mind in these situations: The fact that someone is doing things differently than you would doesn’t necessarily mean they’re wrong. And even if they are wrong, it’s still perfectly possible to support and care for them even in the midst of that. Sometimes, affirmation might even come in the form of loving correction or a call for someone to live up to what you know them to be.

And possibly the most overlooked element of affirmation is the affirmation of a person’s experience. Far too often, when someone expresses that they experienced something that we don’t like or agree with, our first reaction is to say, “That didn’t happen,” or, “You’re wrong for feeling that way.” This is extremely incompassionate and dehumanizing. Attacking someone’s experience is akin to attacking their reality itself, and that can be downright traumatizing.

We don’t get to tell someone else that their experiences or feelings aren’t real. We aren’t in their shoes. We don’t see things from their perspective. Who are we to say that what’s they’re expressing isn’t true? In the vast majority of cases, people aren’t lying to get attention. Whether it be calling out racism in our culture, reporting someone for sexual violence, or simply sharing how one feels about an everyday situation, the vulnerability involved is a huge risk, and we would do well to meet that risk with care and affirmation.

People need to know that they’re heard. People need to know that they’re loved. People need to know that they matter. We can offer them all of those things through affirmation.

We can’t affirm everyone in the exact same way. Obviously, this principle should be applied differently to different situations. In close relationships, affirmation can be deep and lasting. But we can also affirm random strangers through simple kindness and encouragement. It doesn’t take much to be an overflowing source of affirmation to those around you.

When we support and encourage others, we’re affirming their personhood. We’re giving them the opportunity to be all that they can be. We’re letting them know that we’re for them. And if we’re going to practice humanizing everyone, getting to a place where we’re for everyone seems like a fitting goal. It’s possible for each and every one of us, so let’s make it happen. Let’s affirm the identities, journeys, and experiences of others today and every day.

Equalizers

Equality is another important element of treating people humanely (that is, as if they are human beings). We are each human beings equally created in the image of God, and as such, we are each of equal value. No human being is worth more than any other. I think it’s easy for us to agree with that intellectually, but do we actually live it out in our daily lives?

For most of the us, the answer is no. Because true equality is hard. The biggest roadblock to treating every person is equally, I think, is ingroup bias. Humans have a tendency to show a preference for those we think of as being a part of “our group.” Our friends and family members. Those who look like us. Those who live near us and share our nationality. Those who believe the way we do. Those who act the way we do.

We have a tendency to look at people who are like us and decide that we are all a part of a group. Then we apply an us-versus-them mentality to any given situation, and bam: ingroup bias. The people in our group—those who are like us—are the ones who matter most. Outsiders—those who are different from us—are either the enemy or, at best, irrelevant. They can fend for ourselves. We’ve got to take care of our own.

That doesn’t sound like equality to me. But it does sound like the world we live in. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say of a current issue, “That’s not our problem! We’ve got our own problems; let those people take care of theirs.” Maybe you’ve been guilty of saying something like that yourself. I know I have. But true equality, the recognition of every human being as equal, requires that we get rid of this divisive logic.

The solution, of course, is to train our brains to think differently. To expand our conceived ingroup until it includes everyone. This is a difficult exercise in compassion and empathy. In fact, for most of us, it will probably take our entire lives. But it is possible. Once we see that we’re not several groups of people competing with one another, but rather one group—the human race—working towards the same goals, we can begin to see a new way forward: the way of equality.

That’s a beautiful thought, but lest I show too much of my idealistic side, I’d like to offer a few practical ways that equality manifests itself in the world.

Equal Opportunity

We often like to say that in our country, everyone gets a fair shot at success. That simply is not true. We’ve come a long way towards meeting that goal, sure, but we’ve still got a long way to go. While it’s true that most everyone in this country now has the theoretical potential to find success, the reality is much less equal than you might think.

There are so many things that factor into a person’s opportunity for success, and it starts before they’re even born. Ethnicity and biological sex determine a lot of the assumptions the world at large will make about a person. A family history of poverty, discrimination, or oppression takes its toll on every person born into it through generational trauma. If a mother is unhealthy or under an inordinate amount of stress during pregnancy, her child’s development suffers. These are but a few of the ways opportunity is unequal even before birth.

And it carries on in life. If a child lives in an unsafe neighborhood, they will not be able to play outside, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and discover their full range of talents. Kids who grow up in poverty spend their time figuring out how to provide for themselves and their families rather than on excelling in school. Teachers and schoolmates alike make assumptions about students based on race, sex, and other factors that can take a toll and limit one’s potential, as we’ve seen in instances like young girls being discourage from studying STEM subjects and young people of color experiencing test anxiety due to stereotype threat.

This doesn’t even take into account the blatant racism, sexism, and other discrimination that people face out in the world. We might try to ignore or deny it, but bigotry is still at large today. And it creates unequal opportunity for those whom it targets.

But the inequality of opportunity goes deeper than any of that. The single biggest limiting factor in a person’s life, I think, is their own perception of what is possible. Research shows that when someone is expected by those around them to excel, they tend to do better, and when they are expected to fail, they tend to do worse. We call these expectations self-fulfilling prophecies. When you believe you can do something, you’re more likely to actually do it.

How did I know that I could get into college, earn a degree, and use the knowledge and insight I’d gained there to help me launch a successful career? Because I’d spent my entire life being told that I could do so by my parents. What if I had never been told by an authority figure that I was capable of going to college? Would I have done so? Maybe, but more than likely not, because the opportunity to believe in that wasn’t there.

What about kids who grow up in neighborhoods where no one ever seems to get out? Where the only people they know who aren’t struggling to make ends meet are gangsters and drug dealers? Where the only two lifestyle options they see are poverty and crime? How are they supposed to know that there’s any other option if they never see it? How can we say that they have an opportunity to break out of that cycle if they don’t even know it’s a possibility?

So no, everyone doesn’t have an equal opportunity. That’s why we talk about privilege. Someone who’s born into a well-off family, who isn’t the target of constant discrimination, and who has a broad and hopeful understanding of their own potential is a lot more likely to succeed than someone who isn’t afforded any of those privileges. Equal opportunity doesn’t exist, even thought we all implicitly know that it should. It’s an important part of equality.

What do we do about this problem? Solving the issue of unequal opportunity starts by recognizing it. Then, we must take steps to help underprivileged individuals compensate for the opportunity they weren’t afforded. That’s where things like affirmative action and diversity reporting come into play. The purpose is not to rig the system against those who are privileged; it’s actually quite the opposite. The point is to make up for the unequal opportunity by creating opportunities for those affected down the road. It’s an imperfect system, but it’s a necessary one, at least for now.

Of course, the long-term solution is to create a situation where equal opportunity for all is a reality. We do this by eliminating the factors that hold people back: discrimination, poverty, lack of healthcare, unsafe living conditions, and the like. If we wish to truly stand for equality, we must work to eliminate these factors so that each and every person will have an equal opportunity to succeed and to become all that they are meant to be.

Equal Treatment

This one sounds pretty straightforward: Everyone deserves to be treated the same. It’s simple, but it’s not easy to put into practice.

We each have preconceived notions about other people based on stereotypes about how they look, where they come from, and the like. We can’t help that. Our brains are wired to generalize and to make assumptions because, in a lot of cases, it’s helpful. Not so when dealing with other people.

Another cool thing about our brains: They can be reprogrammed. We can become aware of our own biases, name them, recognize them, and fight back against them every time they rear their ugly heads. Eventually, we can even overcome them. It requires literally fighting against our own thoughts, and that may seem counterintuitive. But it’s the only way to destroy the demons that live inside of us.

The solution is not to claim color-blindness. None of us is so perfect that we’ve remained untainted by the stereotypes fed to us by society and the people—even good, well-meaning people—who have influenced us. Besides, we don’t want everyone to be the same. Diversity is a beautiful thing. But everyone should be treated the same way without having to worry about facing discrimination.

The secret, as I mentioned above, is recognizing that we’re all on the same team. The single most effective way to overcome stereotypes and bring people together is to give them a common goal. Once we’re all working together, it’s so much easier to see each other for who we really are: human beings. And the great thing is that we don’t have to create a common goal because we already have them. We all want peace, justice, and prosperity for all. So let’s work together and starting seeing the false lines we’ve drawn between ourselves disappear.

Of course, the other part of equal treatment is removing any discrimination out in the world, and that’s very hard. We can’t control other people, but we can call them out when they express bias and treat others unequally. And we can’t single-handedly remove every discriminatory policy, practice, and norm out there, but we can remain vigilant to be on the lookout and work to change the ones we do see. Instead of burying our heads in the sand, we can practice a worldview of equality and be bold in holding ourselves and others to that standard.

Equal Consideration

I know you hear me say this all the time, but it can’t be said enough: Every single person matters. Their needs matter. Their experiences matter. Their feelings matter. Their opinions matter. Whether you identity with them or not, they matter. And they matter equally.

That means that we have to be willing to consider every single person equally. We have to listen to them and take into account what they have to say. We cannot reject their experience or their perspective just because they are not the same as ours. They deserve equal consideration alongside our own views, because they matter just as much.

I’m not arguing for relativism here. There are some, like neo-Nazis, who have lost their way and need to be told, “I’m sorry, but no. We’re moving in a better direction, and you can either get onboard or go do your hateful thing somewhere else.” And there will always have to be room for diversity of thought and belief. Again, we’re not looking for consensus or uniformity or the lowest common denominator. The goal here is equality.

So let’s stop assuming that our way of viewing the world is the only way, or at least the only correct way. Let’s start listening to the voices of those who have experienced the world much differently than we have, even those who fundamentally disagree with us. Let’s give those ideas consideration—serious consideration—even as we work through our own beliefs. Because every person has something to offer, and every person deserves equal consideration.

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We’ve all heard of the fabled “great equalizer.” For as long as decent society has recognized the evils of inequality, we have sought a solution. Some thought it might be education, and the system has no doubt helped, but it’s still left much of the problem unaddressed. Then it was supposed to be the internet, but I’d say the web’s impact on issues of equality is mixed at best. We haven’t found a one-size-fits-all solution to inequality yet, and it’s unlikely that we ever will.

Maybe instead of searching for a great equalizer, we would do better to become mini-equalizers ourselves. We all have spheres of influence, and in those spheres of influence, we have the opportunity to practice equality, to stand up for the oppressed, and to make a difference. And who knows? If enough of us do this on our own and come together to fight systemic injustice, we might just become the great equalizer the world so desperately needs.

Equality is hard. Putting into practice the principles outlined above is not easy by any means, and I can’t say that I’ve fully mastered them myself. We all have ways that we can and should do better about practicing equality in our own lives. But I truly believe that if we each commit ourselves to practice equality to the best of our abilities and constantly seek out ways we can improve, we can make the world of more equal and humane place for everyone living here. After all, we’re on the same team. Let’s work towards this goal together.

Agents of Agency

Dehumanization is all too easy. And as we talked about last week, it can be extremely destructive. I believe that a majority of the world’s problems could be solved if we all truly and consistently acknowledged the fact that every person is a person just as valuable as any other. People are people. It’s simple, but it’s not easy to practice day in and day out.

If dehumanization is the root of so many of our problems, what can we do about it? What does humanization—or, as is sometimes necessary, rehumanization—look like? How do we get past the tendency to treat others as “less than” and truly see them for the people they are?

That’s not an easy question to answer. And to be honest, I don’t have a perfect, comprehensive response myself. What I do have are some ideas for ways that we can practice humanization in our daily lives based on lessons from my own life. These insights were hard-earned over a good deal of time and through much failure at treating people the way they deserve to be treated. I’d like to share one of those lessons with you today, and I hope you find it helpful.

The concept of agency is a complex one, but at its root, it refers to a person’s ability to act and make decisions for themselves. Their capacity to have an effect on the world around them. Their potential to exert influence over their life and circumstances. A person’s agency is the trait that makes them an active agent in their own life and in the world as a whole. It may seem basic, but it’s a fundamental part of being human.

Far too often, we treat other people as objects rather than subjects. We act like they are passive props or, at the very best, supporting characters in the story of our lives. (We, of course, are the heroes in this scenario.) What we fail to recognize is that each and every person is the subject of their own experience, the main character in their own story, the active agent in their own life. And when we live without this recognition, we deprive others of their agency.

This has happened in gruesomely blatant ways. Slavery, of course, is a way that millions of African Americans and others were stripped of their agency in the past. Throughout history, women have traditionally been treated as inferior to men, often even as property. This, too, is an example of agency being taken away from a human being. When poor people weren’t allowed to vote, Native Americans were forced to flee the lands of their ancestors, and American citizens of Japanese descent were forced into internment camps during World War II, the agency of these individuals was attacked and limited to the point of seeming debilitation.

Though we’ve become more subtle about it, we still chip away at people’s agency today. Racism and sexism remain rampant in the policies and rhetoric of our country. The experiences of sexual abuse survivors are denied and downplayed in public discourse. Children go to school in fear of violence. Homeless people are dying in our streets. Mass incarceration has swallowed up countless individuals (predominantly people of color) who could and should be contributing to greater society, but instead, they’ve had that option taken away. They’ve had their agency stripped from them, and they’re treated as less than human.

These are mostly systemic issues, but we do it on a personal level, too. Every time we make someone feel like they aren’t good enough, like they’re “less than.“ Or evaluate someone without taking the time to get to know them. Or bring someone down in our quest to get ahead. When we do these things, we are holding people back from being their best selves. We’re taking away their agency.

If we are to be compassionate people and to have a net positive influence on this world, we must become agents of agency. We must affirm the agency of our fellow human beings and help those who have had their agency taken away from them find it once again.

That means giving people room to thrive. For someone to have fully agency, they must exist in an environment that does not limit them based on any preexisting characteristic they may have, whether it be sex, race, gender, able-bodiedness or anything else. We don’t know what it’s like to live in a world like that, but I do believe that we can create one by destroying any system, entity, or idea that perpetuates discrimination and bias. That won’t be easy, but if we truly want to support the agency of others, we must try.

It also means respecting the choices that people make. The world is far too full of prescriptive voices telling people what they should do, who they should be, how they should look and act. What if we let people decide these things for themselves? It’s not our responsibility to judge every single decision a person makes or to force our ideas onto others. Of course, if someone is causing harm to others or not living up to what they claim to believe, we can and should call them out on it. But if a person is simply trying to follow their own path to fulfillment, who are we to tell them they’re wrong? Agency means respecting someone enough to accept the choices they make.

And it means lifting people up as they exercise their agency. How much different would the world be if, instead of pretending that life is a zero-sum game that we must win, we instead saw it as a cooperative effort toward common goals? What if we supported one another as we each pursued our own good and the good of the world? Wouldn’t that be nice? We can start creating that reality right here, right now, by empowering one another and affirming the uniqueness, wholeness, and sufficiency of every single person around us.

There are a lot of elements that go into treating each other as human beings, and I can’t wait to get into all of them. But I think that agency is an important starting point. We are each agents, subjects, humans. And we each deserve to be treated as such. May it be so in our lives today and every day.

Jacob’s Family: A Case Study in Dehumanization

I have a mantra: People are people. I’ve adopted this statement as my mantra because it’s a fact that I constantly need to be reminded of. And I have tried to make it a key focus of my writing on this blog. Only when we truly internalize and live out this truth are we able to practice compassion towards ourselves, others, and the world.

That’s why I’m troubled by a phenomenon I see often in the world around me, and sometimes even in my own life. It’s called dehumanization, the treatment of a fellow human being as less than a person. It happens in many different ways, some of which I would like to dive into sooner or later. But this week, rather than deal with instances of this issue in our world today, I’d like to look at a story from scripture that illustrates the problem I’m trying to address.

The Bible is an ancient book, and as such, it does not directly answer every modern question we bring to it. But the Bible is also an inspired, living book, and so it does offer us timeless truths and principles that we can apply to the issues that come up in our day and time. This story from Genesis 29 is culturally far removed from where we find ourselves today. It makes some assumptions and deals with some problems that do not exist in our society, and those can be jarring. But it also speaks into a timeless struggle that faces every person in every time and place: How are we to value and to treat our fellow human beings?

I can’t think of any story that exemplifies the destructive nature of dehumanization better than the story of Jacob and the way he came to be married. Let’s look into that story today.

Dehumanization is destructive.

Our story starts off with Jacob fleeing his family under questionable circumstances. We won’t get into all of those today, but let’s just say that he did some things he’d rather forget. While traveling through the wilderness, Jacob stumbles upon some friendly relatives and decides to live with them. He settles down in the house of his uncle Laban and gets a job tending to his sheep.

Of course, Jacob isn’t expected to work for free, and this is where the first instance of dehumanization comes in. Instead of asking for money or land in exchange for his labor, Jacob makes a deal with Laban that he will work seven years in exchange for Laban’s younger daughter Rachel. He doesn’t want to earn Laban’s respect or blessing; no, he wants to earn and own Rachel. And in case you think Rachel’s father was put off by this proposition, here’s his response from Genesis 29.19: “It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man” (CSB, emphasis added).

What we read in this story is two men bartering for ownership of a human being. That is dehumanization manifested in the clearest, most heinous way possible. Jacob and Laban do not treat Rachel like a human being. (They don’t even bother to ask her opinion on the matter.) They treat her like a piece of property that can be transferred from one owner to another. They treat her like a sub-human, and that is wrong.

Some might say, “Hold up. This story occurs in a time in place when women were universally treated as property. It was a part of their culture, and there was no way around it. You’re being unfair by forcing your modern understanding of morality on an ancient story.” And it’s true that this story came out of a culture that did not consider women to be fully human on the same level as men. Like us, Jacob, Laban, and the writer of this story were limited by their cultural context.

But if the Bible teaches us anything, it’s that God isn’t limited by the things we are. He sees things differently. He sees us differently. And he’s constantly calling us to see things the way he does. The very first chapter of Genesis teaches us that God created human beings in his own image, and from that story we learn that all human beings should be treated equally and considered innately valuable.

People are people. God teaches us that, and we are each called to know and practice it. Jacob should have practiced it, too, but he chose not to. He chose to dehumanize another person, and the consequences were drastic.

We fast forward seven years, and Jacob decides it’s time to claim what he believes to be rightfully his. He tells Laban to throw him a wedding, which he does. They throw a big party, and at the end of the night, it’s time for Jacob and Rachel to become husband and wife.

Except, Laban has a different idea. You see, Rachel is his younger daughter, and he can’t stand the idea of her getting married before his older daughter Leah. So even though Jacob isn’t interested in marrying/owning her, Laban pulls a switch-a-roo and gives Leah to Jacob instead.

You don’t even want to me to go into how Jacob could sleep with Leah thinking she was Rachel. Regardless, he wakes up the next morning and realizes what has happened: Laban tricked him. So he goes to his father-in-law and expresses his frustration, but Laban doesn’t see what the problem is. He’s fulfilled his side of the deal, giving Jacob his daughter in exchange for seven years of work. He’s even thrown in a bonus, sending his slave Zilpah to go and serve the newlyweds in their home. (This, of course, is slavery, another horrific form of dehumanization.) From a financial standpoint—and this was a financial transaction, after all—Jacob is coming out ahead.

But Jacob still isn’t happy. He wants Rachel, the daughter he’s been promised. So he agrees to work another seven years in exchange for her hand. After those seven years pass, Jacob marries Rachel and even gets another slave named Bilhah, who’s tasked with serving Rachel. This story has the opposite of a fairy tale ending: “So Jacob went in to Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah, and served Laban for another seven years“ (Genesis 29.30).

Do you see the pattern here? These men are treating women not like human beings, but like objects. They have no say in what’s going on. Their feelings aren’t even considered. They’re just being passed back and forth between two men until both feel like they’ve gotten a good deal. And the end result is that Leah and Rachel, who’ve been compared to each other their whole lives, are now married to a man they haven’t chosen and who favors one of them over the other. Does that sound like a healthy family situation to you? Spoiler alert: The problems don’t end there.

Dehumanization is a vicious cycle.

Consider the story thus far from Leah’s point of view. She’s grown up in her father’s house constantly being told that she isn’t beautiful like her sister. (Scripture says that her “eyes were weak” [Genesis 29.17], whatever that means.) Then, on the night of what’s meant to be her sister’s wedding, Leah is forced by her father to marry and sleep with a man she has not chosen in an act of betrayal against both Jacob, now her husband, and Rachel, her sister. Could she have done differently? Maybe, if she had known she had a choice. But when a person spends their whole life being treated as less than human, it’s hard not to internalize that view and eventually learn to be helpless.

It’s hard to imagine that Leah wouldn’t come to love Jacob over their seven years of marriage. The story is clear that she at least wants to please him and have a relationship with him. But from the very start, Leah has to share her husband’s time and affection (if she gets any at all) with her sister. Because for seven years, Leah watches Jacob work, knowing that he is not going to be paid with money but with Rachel’s hand in marriage. She brings him water, makes him meals, washes his clothes, and tends to his needs knowing all along that soon, Rachel will be living in the house with them. Soon, Rachel will be Jacob’s wife. And where will that leave her?

In a culture where fertility means everything, it is considered an act of God’s grace that Leah is able to bear children. She may not have been her husband’s first choice, but she is the first to give him a son. Multiple sons, actually. And she uses the names of her children to express her displeasure with her life. She names her first three children Reuben, saying, “Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction” (vv. 32); Simeon, saying, “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated” (vv. 33); and Levi, saying, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me” (vv. 34).

For their whole lives, these men’s names—their very identities—will be defined by the sorrows of their mother. This, too, is an act of dehumanization. Leah treats them as extensions and expressions of her suffering rather than as human beings in their own right.

It’s hard to blame Leah for naming her children the way she does. And she does name her fourth son Judah, proclaiming, “This time I will praise the Lord” (vv. 35). But the names of her oldest sons show that the dehumanization Leah has experienced is now a cycle that she carries on to the next generation. And this cycle carries on.

In the next chapter, Rachel, angry that she is not able to produce children with Jacob, commits her own act of dehumanization. She orders her slave Bilhah to sleep with Jacob in her place and produce children. Bilhah, who has up to this point been treated as nothing more than a piece of property, now becomes a baby-making machine and a pawn in Rachel’s battle against her sister. Rachel takes Bilhah’s baby boys away from her and names them Dan, saying, “God has judged me,” (vv. 6) and Naphtali, saying, “With many wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister and have prevailed” (vv. 8). More dehumanization.

And so it goes. Leah mirrors Rachel and gives her slave Zilpah to Jacob as a wife. She’s already competing with two other women. Why not add another one? At least she’ll be on Leah’s side. Zilpah produces two more children, whom Leah takes away and gives names that celebrate her seeming victory.

Perhaps in the most ironic twist of the whole story, Jacob eventually becomes the victim of the very cycle of dehumanization that he started. Leah wants to sleep with Jacob, but it’s Rachel’s turn. So Leah offers Rachel some food in exchange for Jacob’s bed that night, and Rachel accepts. Jacob worked seven years for Rachel, and she sells him out for a meal! Leah tells Jacob like it is: “You must come in to me, for I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes” (vv. 16).

Just as Rachel and Leah had a price in Jacob’s eyes, so he now has a price in theirs. And so the dehumanization continues. As a result of their night together, Leah has another son and names him Issachar, saying “God has given me my wages” (vv. 18). This entire family is built on the idea that a person’s value is based on what they have to offer, not on their creation in the very image of God. This view of personhood and the disastrous effect it has on everyone in its path is the inevitable result of unchecked dehumanization.

Jacob’s sin of dehumanization is carried on in the lives of his children. He teaches them not to value women by ordering them to stand by silently as their sister Dinah is raped by a ruler of the land (Genesis 34). Rachel does eventually have two sons, Joseph and Benjamin, who of course become their father’s favorites. Joseph’s brothers get sick of him one day and sell him into Egyptian slavery, literally auctioning their brother off as property (Genesis 37). And Judah leaves his daughter-in-law Tamar to die in shame and poverty after the death of her first two husbands (Genesis 38). She’s forced to disguise herself and trick Judah into imprengating her to get him to take care of her. (Yes, that really is in the Bible.)

Are you starting to see how these acts of dehumanization can spiral out of control? It all started with Jacob treating Rachel like a piece of property, and it ended here: hearts broken, relationships in tatters, lives destroyed. But praise God, dehumanization doesn’t have to have the last word.

The cycle can be broken.

The story of Jacob’s family in Genesis ends with Joseph. He understands the devastating effects of dehumanization. He’s seen the way his aunt Leah walks around feeling like she’s worth nothing. He’s seen the jealousy in his brother’s eyes as he receives the favoritism that he never asked for. He’s cried as his own brothers tie him up and send him off to Egypt as a slave in exchange for a few measly coins.

Even in Egypt, Joseph feels the sting of dehumanization. After being bought by Potiphar, he catches of the eye of the master’s wife (Genesis 39). She turns Joseph into her sex object. She harasses him and then accuses him of attempted rape when he refuses to engage her propositions. As a result, Joseph is thrown into prison. An innocent young man turned slave turned prisoner, all because he’s been treated as less than human by those around him.

Somehow, Joseph carries on. He actually thrives in prison. And through a set of bizarre, serendipitous circumstances, Jospeh finds himself in a position of political power (Genesis 40). In fact, he’s second-in-command of all of Egypt! And as he sits on his throne ruling over a nation that he’s saved from the brink of famine, who else would come along asking for help but his jealous, back-stabbing brothers?

This is Joseph’s chance. His brothers don’t recognize him. They’ve told their father that he’s dead, and over the years, they’ve probably come to believe it themselves. In this moment, Joseph has the power to do to them precisely what they did to him when he was a kid: He can devalue them, mistreat them, make them feel like less than human. This is his opportunity to dehumanize them any way he pleases.

But Joseph chooses a different path. He does not allow the cycle continue with him. Instead, he breaks it.

Through tears, Joseph reveals his true identity to his brothers. He forgives them for what they’ve done to him. He sends for his father and moves his entire family to Egypt so that they can all be together (Genesis 45). Jacob is reunited with his beloved son and dies finally having his family at peace for the first time ever. And in the end, Joseph is able to say to his brothers, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…” (Genesis 50.20, emphasis added).

That’s redemption. That’s humanity at it’s best. That’s the grace of God flowing down through a willing servant and repairing generations’ worth of damage through dehumanization. And that, my friends, is beautiful.

We live in a world that teaches us not to value those around us. We see the destructive cycle of dehumanization all around us, and we’ve all participated in it at some point. But the beauty of the gospel is that we don’t have to be a part of the cycle anymore. We can value each other and all human life. We can break the cycle of dehumanization and redeem everything that’s been done in its name. It starts with us; it starts today. Will you be a part?