Parks and Recreation

A couple of weeks ago, one of the greatest shows on television came to an end. Parks and Recreation (often shortened to Parks and Rec by fans) ran on NBC for seven wonderful season from 2009 to 2015, running a total of 125 episodes. The show had an avid following of viewers who loved tuning in each week to see what new shenanigans were going down in their beloved town of Pawnee, Indiana. Parks and Rec will be missed by myself and countless other fans, so I thought it would only be fitting to dedicate a Stuff Devon Likes post to this wonderful show.

Parks and Recreation is a mockumentary-style comedy about a group of people working in the Parks department of a town in Indiana. Like The Office, the show combines traditional TV style with interlaced, scripted interviews in order to heighten the comedy level and highlight the sheer ridiculousness of the situations the characters find themselves in. One of the recurring themes of the show is the amount of waste, redundancy, and immaturity that can be found in small-town politics, but it isn’t hyper-critical. It just points out these elements of government work that we’ve all heard of and uses them to make us laugh and tell a compelling story.

The main character in Parks and Rec is Leslie Knope, an extremely ambitious government employee. When we meet Leslie, she is the deputy director of the Parks department in her town, and she takes her job very, very seriously. Her ultimate goal is to become the President of the United States, and she uses her ambition to do amazing things in what would be considered by many to be a mundane job. Leslie’s foil is her boss, Ron Swanson. Ron, an old-school carpenter who has an obsession with his own privacy, hates the government, but has somehow found himself in charge of Pawnee’s Parks department. The interplay between Leslie and Ron is very endearing, and it is a big part of what has kept the show engaging over the years.

But the other characters on the show are just as quirky and compelling as Leslie and Ron. The show begins with Leslie meeting Ann, a nurse who quickly becomes her best friend. Ann’s boyfriend Andy (played by one of my favorite actors, Christ Pratt) has fallen into a giant pit next to Ann’s house, and Ann seeks out Leslie’s help in getting Andy the care he needs. Leslie decides to turn the pit into a park, which sets off a fun series of events that ultimately changes things for everyone on the show. Other characters include Tom, a wannabe playboy with an eye for entrepreneurship; Donna, a sassy member of the Parks and Recreation department with a really active Twitter account; Jerry, the show’s scapegoat; April, the angsty intern; Ben, an inspector from out of town with a tragic political history; and Chris, the hyper-positive fitness enthusiast who moves to Pawnee with Ben.

The town of Pawnee itself could also be considered a character in the show. Pawnee is a very strange place. It has one of the highest obesity rates in the country. It’s run by a corrupt government of immature, self-interested politicians. And the population of Pawnee can’t decide if they love Leslie or hate her. They turn on her constantly, but ultimately, she knows that they’re her reason for doing what she does. It’s very inspiring to see someone who cares so much about her community work hard for years to make it better, and ultimately see the positive results for the town and for Leslie herself.

In the end, Parks and Recreation isn’t about corrupt government. It’s the story of a woman who cares about where she lives so much that she’s willing to dedicate her life to improving it. It shows us that one person really can make a difference in the lives of countless people. And it shows us how people can change and grow together into a true family and community. Parks and Rec is funny, it’s quirky, and it’s heart-warming. If you haven’t checked out, give it a shot. Parks and Recreation is available on Netflix or DVD, and you can stream the newest episodes on NBC’s website. Check out Parks and Recreation, and let me know what you think of it. Have a great week, friends!

Home

I’ve always had a complicated idea of what I consider to be my “home,” and I don’t think I’m alone in that. It’s a very difficult word to define. Home is often used to refer to the place where one lives. When I leave somewhere to go back to my apartment, I tell people I’m going home. But living in a place doesn’t necessarily make it my home, and it’s not the only way the word can be used. Home can also refer to the place where one grew up. Next week on Spring Break, I will be going home to Greenwood, AR. That is where I spent the majority of my childhood, and that is where my family currently lives. In a sense, Greenwood still is and probably always will be my home. These are two of the main places I refer to using the word “home.”

But for many, neither of these definitions adequately describes what they consider to be “home.” For some, home may be a place that one visited in the past and yearns to return to, where one feels most alive. Or it may be centered more around a person than on a geographical location. And for Christians, the idea of “home” is further complicated by the fact that we believe our true home is a place we haven’t even been to yet: heaven. With all these different ideas of home, how does one make sense of it? What does the word “home” really mean, and how can I know if I’ve truly found it?

First of all, I think it’s important to understand that home doesn’t necessarily have to be a physical place. It can be, and it probably usually is, but I think the true definition of home isn’t limited to space. Home is more about a deep feeling of fulfillment, belonging, and comfortability that is unique to a certain context. Whether that context is a literal place or maybe something a little less tangible, it can still be considered home.

I also think a working definition of home would be incomplete if it did not recognize that a person can (and possibly should) have more than one home. Just because someone feels deeply connected to a certain place or context, that does not exclude the possibility of being deeply connected to another place or context. This has some accompanying complications. It can be unhealthy to try to live in two places (or try to live in one place when your heart is in another), but I do not think that having more than one home is unhealthy in and of itself. I think it shows that a person is capable of growing roots while also spreading their wings, and I think that is something worthy of respect.

There are different kinds of homes. There’s your functional home, the place you live. Hopefully everyone has some sort of space that is his or her own, even if it’s just one corner of a bedroom that you share. I know that I don’t function well when I don’t have some space that I can call my own. But there are also deeper types of home. There are significant places from your past. I know many people detest their hometowns and would never call them their “homes,” but I love where I grew up, and I still call it home to this day. There are relational homes. Maybe you have a family member or a close friend who lives somewhere that you’ve never lived, but you still feel a homely feeling toward that place simply because of the person that’s there. That’s a type of home. And there are others, as well.

And just because you consider a place home now, that doesn’t mean you always will. As you grow and change, what you consider home will grow and change, too. When I lived in Conway, AR, for undergrad, I considered that place a sort of home because I was living there. But now that I’ve moved away along with all of my close friends who were there with me, I don’t feel at home there anymore. I feel a fondness for it, sure. But it’s not home. And that’s OK.

But it is very important that you have a home. You need a place where you feel comfortable, complete, and fulfilled. Without some kind of home (again, not necessarily a physical place per se), a person has no roots. There’s nothing connecting him or her to the world, and he or she can quickly become just a floater. Even if the only definition of home you have is one person you truly care about and feel connected with, you have a home, and everyone needs that.

Ultimately, home is the place where you feel the most alive. The place where you can truly be yourself. Maybe home is where you live. Maybe it’s where you grew up. Maybe it’s somewhere you’d like to be. Or maybe it’s someone you can totally be yourself around. For me, my home is a combination of many of these things. And I’m happy with that definition. May you each find the place or places that make you feel the most alive and plant your roots deep wherever it is you call home.

All You Can Do

I’m not a big fan of rap music, but I sometimes listen to a guy named George Watsky (pictured above). I like him more for his personality and his spoken word poetry than for his music, because even though his music’s got some pretty great things to say, it also often slips into needless vulgarity. Today I’m not going to talk so much about Watsky’s music as an experience that he had that impacted me. While on the Vans Warped Tour in 2013, Watsky decided to conquer his fear of heights by climbing progressively taller objects and jumping off of them into the crowd. But one night, he took it too far. He jumped off a 35-foot lighting fixture into the crowd below, landing himself and two of his fans in the hospital.

That was a pretty stupid thing to do. It was destructive not only for himself, but for the people around him. But I really respect the way Watsky handled the situation. He immediately acknowledged what happened and offered a sincere, public apology. He paid for his injured fans’ recoveries and was very humble about the whole ordeal, and I respect him for that. This experience had a really strong impact on Watsky, and it ultimately determined the name and direction of his next album.

In 2014, he released the album All You Can Do. In the title track, he tackles the subject head on. He acknowledges what happened, takes full responsibility for it, and concludes with the repetitive line, “All you can do is all you can do.” This isn’t a dismissive statement. He’s not saying that he didn’t do anything wrong. He’s not throwing his hands up in the air and saying, “Oh well.” He saying, “I did something wrong, I take responsibility for it, and I’m going to do everything I can to fix it. And ultimately, that’s all I can do.” While I don’t condone Watsky’s dangerous actions, I commend the way he handled it, and I think we can all see a little bit of ourselves in the statement, “All you can do is all you can do.”

The truth is that we all mess up. We try things, and we fail. I’ve never jumped off a lighting fixture into a crowd and injured people, but I can imagine what that would feel like, because I’ve screwed up plenty of times myself and hurt other people. But I haven’t always had the grace and guts to step out and claim it. And that’s when I truly fail. Screwing up is a part of life. There isn’t a single person alive who hasn’t messed up at some point, and we’ll each most likely mess up in some way in the future. We can’t avoid making mistakes. But there is something we can do when we mess up.

Usually, the mistakes we make are honest ones. We weren’t trying to hurt anyone; it just happened. In our attempt to get what we wanted, we stepped on someone’s toes. Or we were so focused on ourselves that we forgot to consider someone else’s feelings. And yes, they deserve to be upset. We did something wrong. But once we’ve gotten to that point, there’s still something that can be done. Because an honest mistake can be forgiven, whereas refusing to apologize and to make up for an honest mistake can ruin relationships.

Here’s the conclusion I’ve come to: When I mess up, I’m going to own it. I’m not going to be proud of it, but I’m not going to deny it, either. I’m going to take responsibility for what I did, try to make up for it, and learn from it. Because that’s all I can do. And all I can do is all I can do. But here’s the beautiful thing: All I can do can often be enough. And for that, I am so very thankful.

Processing versus Over-Thinking

I recently received some really good advice. As most of you probably know, I’m a thinker. My mind never, ever shuts up. I’m always trying to think through something that I’ve experienced, some issue that society is facing, or some topic that comes up in a class. I am always, always thinking about something. Last week, I was talking to a friend about something I was thinking through, and he said, “You need to take some time to process it, but don’t overthink it.”

Wow. I thought that was so profound. Processing instead of over-thinking. It sounds like an arbitrary distinction, but it actually makes a huge difference. And I’m really bad about crossing that line from processing to over-thinking. So I started to think about things I could do to prevent myself from falling into the trap of over-thinking, and then I realized it would make a great blog post! So here are my reflections on the distinction between processing and over-thinking as I’m trying to toe that line.

Over-thinking is constant. Processing isn’t.

I often find myself thinking about one thing all the time. To the point where I can’t truly focus on anything else because at least part of my attention is always dedicated to that one thing that’s on my mind. It’s there when I wake up, and I think about it until I fall asleep at night. In class, when I’m driving, even when I’m trying to watch something on TV. It seems like I can’t stop thinking about it. That’s obviously over-thinking.

Processing, on the other hand, is much less intrusive. It does take time, and it doesn’t happen all at once, but it also doesn’t keep you from living your life and focusing on the things around you. It’s something that comes into your head for a while until you’re ready to put it away, and then it fades into the background until it’s time to do some more processing.

So how do I keep something from taking up my attention all the time and pushing me into the realm of over-thinking? It may be hard, but I have to get myself to focus on something else from time to time. The best thing I’ve found to do is to be intentional about being present in the situation I’m in. If I’m having a conversation with a friend or listening to a lecture, I choose to devote my full attention to that and simply be present. Sure, other things may try to creep into my awareness, but if I’m being truly intentional about being truly present, I’m able to avoid over-thinking.

Over-thinking isolates. Processing is communal.

This is something I struggle with a lot. I cherish my solitude, and even more so when something’s on my mind. If I’m trying to work through something, I have a tendency to withdraw so that I can spend some time on it. I end up sitting alone for a long time trying to make some progress, but really what I end up doing is going in circles over and over, and I don’t get any closer to working through whatever it is I’m thinking about.

So I’ve learned to take a different approach. Instead of withdrawing and trying to work through whatever I’m thinking about on my own (which always leads to over-thinking), I choose to intentionally seek out people I can trust to talk to about it. Just the act of saying what’s inside my head often helps me make sense of it, and it leaves me feeling a lot better. And helpful input from a trusted outside source is always helpful when trying to process something.

I’m not saying that processing is completely communal or that you should become co-dependent on other people to help you think through things. There’s a balance between processing on your own and processing with others, and you don’t want to go too far one way or the other. But if you find yourself constnatly withdrawing to think things through like I do, you’re definitely over-thinking, and you need to open up to someone so that you can start processing.

Over-thinking is cyclical. Processing resolves.

I’ve touched on this already, but I think it’s important to note. When I’m over-thinking something, I always end up stuck in a cycle. I’ll start somewhere and think that I’m making progress, only to end up at the exact same point where I started. This leaves me feeling frustrated and no closer to actually thinking through the subject than before. This is an unhealthy by-product of overthinking.

Processing isn’t like that. Processing leaves you at least a little bit closer to a solution when you’re finished than when you started. Processing may be a winding road that takes you all over the place, but it never leaves you right where you started. If you find yourself going over the same things over and over in your head, you’re overthinking, and it may be good to just take a break. I’ve found that I can get out of the cycle of over-thinking only when I choose to focus on something else for a while and then revisit the topic later with fresh eyes. Then, I can truly process.

I’m trying really hard to process things rather than over-think them. I’m not saying that I’ve been completely successful in this endeavor. I often find myself slipping back into the trap of over-thinking. But when I remind myself of these three distinctions between processing and over-thinking, I find it easier to keep myself healthy and on track.

That’s all I’ve got to say this week. I hope this has been helpful to at least some of you reading this. I know it’s been extremely helpful for me, at least. Thank you for reading my post this week, and I hope to see you again next Tuesday. Have a great week, friends!

Feeling Self-Unaware

When I start working on my weekly blog post, I take some time to just sit and think through where I’m at. What I’ve experienced recently that affected me. How I’ve been feeling lately. What’s been on my mind. But when I sat down to do that last week, I couldn’t come up with anything. I drew a blank. And it didn’t feel like writer’s block. It felt like something completely different.

I think of myself as a fairly self-aware person. I’m usually pretty in touch with my feelings and motivations. But recently, I’ve been feeling the opposite of that. I haven’t been sad or mopey. I haven’t been feeling bad at all. I just haven’t been feeling much of anything, or at least, I haven’t been aware of feeling much of anything. And that makes writing a blog post about my feelings and experiences pretty difficult. To be honest, lately I’ve been feeling pretty self-unaware.

I don’t think this experience is too uncommon. It’s so easy to go through the motions without ever truly, critically looking at our lives and our experiences. We often just don’t make the time to do that. And when we get stuck in this cycle of simply going through the motions over and over, we make it increasingly hard to get out and actually feel much of anything for a change.

And when we’re disconnected from ourselves and our emotions, we struggle to find meaning in the things that we do. We cannot see the big picture that our small actions and habits are contributing to. We may even start to feel like what we’re doing doesn’t matter because we’re not connected to it, and this is not a good place to be. Thankfully, I realized my disconnectedness before I got to that point.

There’s no one way to resolve this problem. Everybody’s different. But I have found a couple of different methods during the process of writing this blog post that I’ve found helpful, and I thought it would be nice to share them with you.

The first thing that has helped me start the process of getting back to self-awareness is journaling. I know I’ve talked about this before, but I cannot stress how important and helpful journaling has been for me. It helps me think through my experiences and emotions and actually make some sense of them. Even on days when I don’t feel like I have much to say, I am surprised by my ability to process things simply by writing them out. So I’m trying to be more intentional about my journaling and set aside a realistic—but significant—amount of time every night before bed to process things.

Another thing I’ve found really helpful isn’t something I’ve done but something someone did for me. I was in a meeting at work and my boss said something that really touched me, especially in light of the things I was thinking through for this post. He commented about one aspect of my work and how great it was that I was able to do it in the time that I do. For him, it was just a passing comment. But for me, it meant a lot. It reminded me that the things I do, even if they feel mundane, are actually meaningful to others. I find that surrounding myself with supportive, uplifting people like that who remind me of how much my actions do matter has been helpful in this process of reconnecting with myself.

And of course, writing this blog post has been great for me this week. It’s a lot like journaling, but with a much broader audience in mind. So thank you guys for giving me this space and this ability to share my life with you. If you’re feeling disconnected like I am, I hope this has been helpful for you. I know it’s been so good for me. Here’s to reconnecting and striving to become more self-aware! Have a great week, friends, and I’ll see you later.